Fallen! Fallen! Fallen!
Is iron stomach the great!
For you have behaved with overweening pride.
Your ramparts will be shaken
Your walls will become a heal of rubble.
The cauldron of which you boast will crack
Heaving its contents.
For you cried out from the heights in your arrogance,
And called aloud from your lofty perch:
"I am not afraid of the sickness that becomes mere mortals.
I shall not quiver and quake but shall stand tall!"
and again you spoke
in your need to be right:
"Only a moments boil!
I am right and you are so wrong."
Tell it not in Mexico, Jamaica or Haiti!
Tell it not in Cochabamba or Nairobi.
Thine undoing will come in Changsha.
The humble and ubiquitous package,
within the very comfort of Wal Mart
Hidden within is thy doom.
He undoes the package;
He boils the water and lets it sit.
He pours the contents from the
familiar foil pouch and adds the poisons from two more;
They sit and mix;
Their vile elements combine.
And now thy doom is at hand!
You have been brought low:
To ceramic tile and porcelain bowl!
Shaking. Heaving. Sputtering.
Can you be brought lower still?
I sit on the floor and repent
As though in sackcloth and ashes.
May I never quake and heave again.
--R with influence from the prophets Isaiah and Obadiah
9.13.2008
R's Sick - Please Pray
In the middle of the night, R woke up SICK. He's thrown up several times. So far, no fever or other symptoms. You all know that it takes a lot to make his stomach upset. He THINKS it's the dinner he ate from Walmart. We were trying to keep things simple tonight (not go out to a restaurant which we must do for every meal here) and he purchased a pre-packaged ramen type noodle cup. He's pretty sure he's reacting to that. We hope so!
So far, M and I are fine. We tried a pre-packaged mac and cheese dinner. I have a constantly queasy stomach here, but it has never intensified.
Please pray for R that it is over soon and that M and I are protected if it wasn't the food! THANK YOU! I fear we have not brought enough pepto bismol, but there are other Americans here that I will beg for more if need be...
So far, M and I are fine. We tried a pre-packaged mac and cheese dinner. I have a constantly queasy stomach here, but it has never intensified.
Please pray for R that it is over soon and that M and I are protected if it wasn't the food! THANK YOU! I fear we have not brought enough pepto bismol, but there are other Americans here that I will beg for more if need be...
Good Night From Changsha
Well, it's almost ten here. The women (heh) are both asleep and I'm wearing down, too. I just hope I can sleep until six. I usually wake up at five hungry as can be.
Can't believe how many are interested and following along. We are blessed by your love, friendship encouragement and prayers. THANK YOU!
Tomorrow we're going to some aquarium in Changsha. Who knows what that will be like!
Good Night!
--R
Can't believe how many are interested and following along. We are blessed by your love, friendship encouragement and prayers. THANK YOU!
Tomorrow we're going to some aquarium in Changsha. Who knows what that will be like!
Good Night!
--R
Mom or Dad?
You read so many books, blogs and what-not about the experiences of others. It is quite common for the children to latch on to one parent to various degrees. Some clearly resist (w/ tears and tantrums) being with the other parent; Some kids are practically glued to one parent; Some just have a preference that is clearly seen and felt. This can last for hours, days, weeks, even months. and it can change!
So what's been our experience so far?
Well, mom is CLEARLY preferred over dad when M. wakes up. If dad tries to get her out of the crib there are always tears. Mom is clearly preferred over dad when there are tears. I've been able to do some limited consoling--but J. does it most. Mom is clearly preferred when M. is apparently nervous, shy or uncertain. For example we tried a couple public (on the street) hand-offs yesterday, and I quickly got "the pout" that usually leads to tears if X action is not averted.
With that said: I got the first smile; the first giggles and the only clear "name" spoken moments. I got the first open mouthed kiss--J. got the first "regular" lip-smacking one.
On balance, it's really....balanced! When she's fully awake and at ease we can both hold her; she comes to both of us; she takes food and drink from both of us; she allows both to change her; she holds hands with both of us and plays with both of us. It's wonderful!
So what's been our experience so far?
Well, mom is CLEARLY preferred over dad when M. wakes up. If dad tries to get her out of the crib there are always tears. Mom is clearly preferred over dad when there are tears. I've been able to do some limited consoling--but J. does it most. Mom is clearly preferred when M. is apparently nervous, shy or uncertain. For example we tried a couple public (on the street) hand-offs yesterday, and I quickly got "the pout" that usually leads to tears if X action is not averted.
With that said: I got the first smile; the first giggles and the only clear "name" spoken moments. I got the first open mouthed kiss--J. got the first "regular" lip-smacking one.
On balance, it's really....balanced! When she's fully awake and at ease we can both hold her; she comes to both of us; she takes food and drink from both of us; she allows both to change her; she holds hands with both of us and plays with both of us. It's wonderful!
Communicating
We were emailed the following question:
We're curious about how you all communicate...does she repeat anything you all say? She called you baba...have you been saying that for 2 days straight, or what? Are you using English terms too, and has she said any of those?
This ties somewhat into a previous post about the uncertainty of her knowledge of Mandarin. As we've mentioned, (I think) we were tutored for exactly one hour in some basic Mandarin phrases and have read through (and listened to the audio version of) a basic speaking book from our agency. We have that book and the cheat-sheet from the tutor with us and have referred to and practiced from them often. We also try to practice with our guides.
We've had two guides, one in Beijing and one here in Changsha. We notice that THEY say words and phrases differently. We can tell what they are, but they correct the pronunciation we got from the tutor, or from the other guide. It's confusing. So who knows if our pronunciation is even intelligible.
Never-the-less we try. We do try to use some simple (Mandarin) words with M. We also just speak English and use a lot of gestures. We also use the Mandarin we know followed by the English and gestures. We believe that there are some words that EVERYONE seems to know, such as baba and mama (dad and mom). All the guides, the tutor, the book, nannies and directors etc etc. etc. have used them. They were spoken passionately to the children by guides, nannies and directors alike at "Gotcha" with reference to us, and natives continue to use those terms of us when speaking to our daughter. We also repeat them playfully along with "mom" and "dad" etc.
I can't say we heard M. say a single word or sound that sounded like a word in any language on either 9/11 or 9/12. She was extremely quiet. Even though she smiled and giggled a bunch yesterday, she still had not really spoken. I heard something in her sleep, but am uncertain if it was some form of Chinese or just some muttering. Today (9/13 in China) we've heard several words in Chinese. Nothing in English. I'd be shocked to hear that so soon. We've only been with her from 54 hours! (wow, they've been a full 54 hours!)
On the one hand, our guide has wondered how much Mandarin M. has heard from her nannies. She sees that it can be quite difficult to communicate with both M. and the other boy in the group (from yet another area of Hunan.) They don't always seem to respond to her. But there's clearly not a congnitive issue--they both appear to be very bright. On the other hand, she does respond at times. Also, she said a word over and over again in the play room while throwing a ball. We repeated the sounds to our guide and after a couple attempts she realized she was saying the word for "throw." Makes sense. She's said a few other words in the room repetitively --a couple phrases having to do with a book; a couple with eating. (so it seems.)
Starting at breakfast, this was a day full of mutual communication. She clearly made signs to us asking for things throughout the day. She pointedto her milk and clearly wanted to drink it. She pointed to her neck and clearly wanted us to fix the napkin (drat! we forgot BIBS!!!!) that was sliding down. etc.
We're just winging it all the best we can. We just know that she's definitely responding to us and communicating back to us in a host of verbal and non-verbal ways. And it's great! She definitely called me "baba" and it was an absolutely amazing feeling that still lingers nine hours later.
--R
We're curious about how you all communicate...does she repeat anything you all say? She called you baba...have you been saying that for 2 days straight, or what? Are you using English terms too, and has she said any of those?
This ties somewhat into a previous post about the uncertainty of her knowledge of Mandarin. As we've mentioned, (I think) we were tutored for exactly one hour in some basic Mandarin phrases and have read through (and listened to the audio version of) a basic speaking book from our agency. We have that book and the cheat-sheet from the tutor with us and have referred to and practiced from them often. We also try to practice with our guides.
We've had two guides, one in Beijing and one here in Changsha. We notice that THEY say words and phrases differently. We can tell what they are, but they correct the pronunciation we got from the tutor, or from the other guide. It's confusing. So who knows if our pronunciation is even intelligible.
Never-the-less we try. We do try to use some simple (Mandarin) words with M. We also just speak English and use a lot of gestures. We also use the Mandarin we know followed by the English and gestures. We believe that there are some words that EVERYONE seems to know, such as baba and mama (dad and mom). All the guides, the tutor, the book, nannies and directors etc etc. etc. have used them. They were spoken passionately to the children by guides, nannies and directors alike at "Gotcha" with reference to us, and natives continue to use those terms of us when speaking to our daughter. We also repeat them playfully along with "mom" and "dad" etc.
I can't say we heard M. say a single word or sound that sounded like a word in any language on either 9/11 or 9/12. She was extremely quiet. Even though she smiled and giggled a bunch yesterday, she still had not really spoken. I heard something in her sleep, but am uncertain if it was some form of Chinese or just some muttering. Today (9/13 in China) we've heard several words in Chinese. Nothing in English. I'd be shocked to hear that so soon. We've only been with her from 54 hours! (wow, they've been a full 54 hours!)
On the one hand, our guide has wondered how much Mandarin M. has heard from her nannies. She sees that it can be quite difficult to communicate with both M. and the other boy in the group (from yet another area of Hunan.) They don't always seem to respond to her. But there's clearly not a congnitive issue--they both appear to be very bright. On the other hand, she does respond at times. Also, she said a word over and over again in the play room while throwing a ball. We repeated the sounds to our guide and after a couple attempts she realized she was saying the word for "throw." Makes sense. She's said a few other words in the room repetitively --a couple phrases having to do with a book; a couple with eating. (so it seems.)
Starting at breakfast, this was a day full of mutual communication. She clearly made signs to us asking for things throughout the day. She pointedto her milk and clearly wanted to drink it. She pointed to her neck and clearly wanted us to fix the napkin (drat! we forgot BIBS!!!!) that was sliding down. etc.
We're just winging it all the best we can. We just know that she's definitely responding to us and communicating back to us in a host of verbal and non-verbal ways. And it's great! She definitely called me "baba" and it was an absolutely amazing feeling that still lingers nine hours later.
--R
What An EATER!
Boy can this girl eat! Oh. And we were wrong about the spoon. She is actually quite good with them. Her fine motor skills are quite good all the way around. It's her gross motors that will need some work. She's very unsteady on her feet. We think she's probably spent much of her time in a walker.
Safe Water
No one (not even the locals) can drink the water in China. It must all be purchased (bottled) or boiled for safety. We're eating in tonight (and cheap) with packaged noodles from today's run to Wal Mart. You have to add boiling water for them to cook. The room has a hot pot.
So. The debate. J. is (understandably) nervous about this process
(approximate dialogue:)
J: "Don't you have to boil it for ten minutes or something like that?"
R: "Nope. As soon as it's boiled, it's safe."
J: "How do you know that? Are you SURE?"
R: "Yup. Just get it to a boil."
J: "I don't want to get sick."
R: "just bring it to a boil."
If you want to find out who was right and who was wrong :-), you can see this article, here.
--R
So. The debate. J. is (understandably) nervous about this process
(approximate dialogue:)
J: "Don't you have to boil it for ten minutes or something like that?"
R: "Nope. As soon as it's boiled, it's safe."
J: "How do you know that? Are you SURE?"
R: "Yup. Just get it to a boil."
J: "I don't want to get sick."
R: "just bring it to a boil."
If you want to find out who was right and who was wrong :-), you can see this article, here.
--R
Play Time
After a good long nap, we went down the hall to the hotel play room for some fun. We played with bubbles and balls, then we went to the slide/tunnel. We had some really special time with her. A little later, the others from our group came and the kids had some fun together. So much fun to watch.
Mia fell and hurt herself mildly and cried. Our three-time adoptive friend pointed out that this is a really good thing. Her oldest daughter, at time of adoption had already temporarily lost the ability to respond to pain. Life in an orphanage trains you to believe that no one will listen, I guess.
We also noticed that she's not big on sharing. :-) While she did kindly and repetitively bring Mama and Baba each a ball with which to play catch, when she heard some noise in the hallway, she promptly picked up the bucket of balls and looked for a place to hide them. Later, we saw her push another child's hand away when he tried to play the little keyboard she was using. Normal kid-stuff to be sure, but I think it's especially pronounced in the orphange setting.
Speaking of Books...
To my friend B.,
I really wish I could read Chinese. I'm betting these are modern prints of ancient Chinese philosophers on the shelves at Wal Mart. I thought they looked really fun. I thought of you immediately. I wish I would have gotten some from your recommended reading list, but silly me, I was concerned about what would be acceptable at customs. It seems they're ok with quite a bit. :-)
Restful Afternoons
Well it seems that the afternoons will be spent resting in our hotel room. I had quite forgotten that an almost three-year old would still nap! (silly me.) She's quite good at it too. (she's been out for 2.5 hours thus far.) It's actually quite nice. Yesterday I napped hard, too. Today, I've been reading while J. has blogged, looked at the blogs of other new friends currently in China, and begun to read her own book.
I'm glad I brought some books along, but fear I haven't brought enough. I didn't want to bring too many, because they can be heavy and take up space for souvenirs. :-) I didn't know if I'd have time (with a toddler) or energy (at the end of the trip and doing the jet-lag thing) to read on the way home. And I really didn't anticipate such quiet down-time in the middle of the day.
We'll see. I highly doubt we'll find a book in English.
--R
I'm glad I brought some books along, but fear I haven't brought enough. I didn't want to bring too many, because they can be heavy and take up space for souvenirs. :-) I didn't know if I'd have time (with a toddler) or energy (at the end of the trip and doing the jet-lag thing) to read on the way home. And I really didn't anticipate such quiet down-time in the middle of the day.
We'll see. I highly doubt we'll find a book in English.
--R
Learning From Mei Mei?
The boys are very excited to teach Mei-Mei (little sister) many things. We just found something that SHE can teach them. After finishing her KFC lunch, she dutifully (and quite on her own) took a wet cloth and wiped up her place at the table and then wiped her hands.
She's not even three, boys!
--Dad.
She's not even three, boys!
--Dad.
Guess Who Got a Kiss?
So when M was eating her KFC, she accidentally knocked her entire plate of lunch onto the floor. Luckily for us seasoned parents (yeah, right! We were just lucky this time!) we had a towel under her chair to catch any messes. She made a sound of suprise and giggled. As R cleaned it up, she offered R a piece of her prized chicken and said, "Baba!" (Daddy) Guess whose heart just melted?? Then he exclaimed in happiness as only he can and gave her a big kiss. She kissed him right back on the cheek! R's on cloud 9.
Then, as J put her to bed for her nap, M snuggled up and kissed HER cheek. Are we feeling humbled and blessed here in China.
We're trying to remember that there will still be MANY rough times ahead and there is no secure connection yet (won't be for a long time). Still these things give us hope that with a lot of love and patience, her heart will someday be whole and she will be able to love freely...
Walmart - Changsha Style
Today we ventured out to Walmart. It's sensory overload in the States - imagine how much more so here in China. My heart went out to M before we even left. It was only a short van ride away and we were in need of diapers and some American chocolate! Our plan was that if it was too much for her, I would simply wait outside with M. I put her in a hip hugging snugglie so she wouldn't touch cart germs and would hopefully feel safer. She was very intrigued having never been to a store in her life. I must admit...I wasn't prepared for the intensity of the experience. I am wiped and so is she! People were EVERYWHERE, not quite as bad as NYCity before Christmas, but definitely NYCity on a busy day. There were all sorts of Chinese-only items for sale and people selling things like stadium vendors in the aisles. It was so LOUD. Similar to a ballgame stadium when you're walking into a game..R thinks even louder! In the middle of the store, I (J) spotted a shape sorter toy that I'd been looking for in the States for M, but couldn't find. M saw it too and squealed! She pointed and we gave her the box. She hugged the box like a child who opens her favorite present on Christmas morning. Then she snuggled with it and kissed the box. :-) We're not sure if she has seen a toy like it or whether she was just thrilled to have something of her own. She carried that box all the way through the store and through the hotel lobby and up to the 30th floor where it was dropped by accident. There's a handle on it and she loves to carry it around by the handle....a future purse holding girl??
She did really well for the first half of the store but then started wanting things. It was just like shopping with G! In the checkout she was begging for gum! She didn't know what it was, but it didn't matter to her. Then she got silly and wiggled and wiggled to get down and play. Why are ALL kids like that at check-outs????
Hey boys! We got you some Chinese Cheetos!
By the way, R found his chocolate, but it still isn't the same! It's Dove brand, but it has some kind of weird crispy-like ingredient in it. Major Bummer. We're spending the rest of the day chilling in the hotel room. Whew! We picked up KFC outside of Walmart (the only American food here except McDonald's). M LOVED her chicken and corn on the cob, but was even more THRILLED with the straw. She laughed herself silly at the sound it made going in and out of the cup. Then she pulled it out all the way and it splattered water all over my face. I made a suprised face and she belly laughed and threw back her head in hysterics. She was one happy girl! When we put her to bed for a nap shortly after, she fussed for a minute or two, but then conked out. What a sweetie!
No Speak Mandarin?!
So, after almost 48 hours of being with M we have discovered that she most likely does not speak Mandarin Chinese! We knew that it was a possibility, but after our guide has spoken with her numerous times, it's clear to her that M doesn't understand her, either! Neither does the other little boy that was adopted by the other adoption family in our group. Here we've been speaking all of these Chinese phrases to her and she looks at us like we're speaking a foreign language....apparently, we have been! :-) HA!
9.12.2008
Haze
Here's the view out of our (30th floor) hotel room this morning. It's supposedly a "sunny" day. (Please pardon my reflection)
Story Time
I (R) was sitting in the chair and she picked up the book held it out to me. This was the result. What fun!
And NOW do you like my hat?
OK. Here is a picture from our first trip to the hotel pool. They make us wear these dopey hats. But she sure is cute!
Amazed
Yesterday after noon after my nap, I put on the Philips Craig and Dean song, "Amazed." (you can listen here---"play" button on upper right of screen) and I sat down and was so over come by emotion that I just wept.
The song often "gets" me, but in this context, with little M. sleeping soundly right behind me in her crib, I was totally overcome. I can't believe He's letting us do this, that He's entrusting us with this precious little girl.
I am truly grateful and amazed at God's love and work.
The song often "gets" me, but in this context, with little M. sleeping soundly right behind me in her crib, I was totally overcome. I can't believe He's letting us do this, that He's entrusting us with this precious little girl.
I am truly grateful and amazed at God's love and work.
"Potty Trained"
So said her paperwork. In reality?
Not so much.
Well, not even close. And she'll be THREE in December! This is not a shock, though we were mentally lax in preparing for this. We only brought pull-ups, for example. (good thing we're going to Wal Mart today!)
Pull-ups are fine for many things.
They're not so great for a girl with.....well.......less than firm material. (sorry to be gross.) There are a few things to be grateful for in this department, though. 1) She's really compliant. She knows what she's supposed to do and does it calmly, not making the unpleasant task any more difficult. 2) Since this is a five-star hotel, there are people that just "show up" outside your hotel room when you stick the now-toxic garbage can in the hallway to return it only a few minutes later. Never-the-less, along with diapers and more wipes--we're going to pick up some air freshener. :-)
OK. Now for the "dad" part. I have to admit that when I first watched Jessemyn pull off a pull-up, my first thought was "There's something missing!" No kidding. My next thought was "Of course there is, you dolt!" geesh. I let Jessemyn do the first several changes. I'm a little freaked out about that whole thing. I did my first one yesterday afternoon. I was quite uncomfortable. With boys, you can usually leave their little manhood alone. Girls.....sigh.
It's just really awkward.
--R
Not so much.
Well, not even close. And she'll be THREE in December! This is not a shock, though we were mentally lax in preparing for this. We only brought pull-ups, for example. (good thing we're going to Wal Mart today!)
Pull-ups are fine for many things.
They're not so great for a girl with.....well.......less than firm material. (sorry to be gross.) There are a few things to be grateful for in this department, though. 1) She's really compliant. She knows what she's supposed to do and does it calmly, not making the unpleasant task any more difficult. 2) Since this is a five-star hotel, there are people that just "show up" outside your hotel room when you stick the now-toxic garbage can in the hallway to return it only a few minutes later. Never-the-less, along with diapers and more wipes--we're going to pick up some air freshener. :-)
OK. Now for the "dad" part. I have to admit that when I first watched Jessemyn pull off a pull-up, my first thought was "There's something missing!" No kidding. My next thought was "Of course there is, you dolt!" geesh. I let Jessemyn do the first several changes. I'm a little freaked out about that whole thing. I did my first one yesterday afternoon. I was quite uncomfortable. With boys, you can usually leave their little manhood alone. Girls.....sigh.
It's just really awkward.
--R
Sleep Notes (cont)
Well, that was probably our best night of sleep. We went to bed before 10 and woke up around 5. These so-called mattresses are just ridiculous. It's seriously like having a piece of ply wood with a mattress pad on top. geesh. And every morning we wake up ravenously hungry--so it's impossible to go back to sleep.
All in all, we're doing ok though.
M. Sleeps like a dream She fell asleep promptly at 8PM again and is still sleeping despite our early morning activity. WOW! Thank the LORD!
We suppose that could change at the drop of a yuan, but we don't THINK it will and we're really grateful.
--R
All in all, we're doing ok though.
M. Sleeps like a dream She fell asleep promptly at 8PM again and is still sleeping despite our early morning activity. WOW! Thank the LORD!
We suppose that could change at the drop of a yuan, but we don't THINK it will and we're really grateful.
--R
M's legs
M's legs are weak. We guess that she's spent a lot of time in a baby walker (custom in orphanages). They're definitely bowed and when you pick her up, she often will automatically pull her legs up into the position that would go into a walker. She is unsteady on her feet and slips easily. They're also incredibly skinny. She needs a lot of lumberjack food and time in the backyard with the boys.
Tonight we played in a small playroom on our hotel floor. It had a Toddler size Little Tyke size slide. I got her to climb up a few times and slide down...I wonder if she's ever done that before?? She looked REALLY suprised by the down and can't figure out how to balance yet on her bum on the descent.
Her favorite game is walk around with a ball and occasionally throw it back and forth to someone. She CRACKS up when she does it. Her grin looks a bit like a Cheshire cat. ADORABLY cute.
Tonight we played in a small playroom on our hotel floor. It had a Toddler size Little Tyke size slide. I got her to climb up a few times and slide down...I wonder if she's ever done that before?? She looked REALLY suprised by the down and can't figure out how to balance yet on her bum on the descent.
Her favorite game is walk around with a ball and occasionally throw it back and forth to someone. She CRACKS up when she does it. Her grin looks a bit like a Cheshire cat. ADORABLY cute.
Food - Hunan Style
So today was an adventurous day for food. At lunch, we ate at the hotel. We were wiped from the morning at the Civil Affairs Office. It was expensive, but convenient. We enjoyed music from the States, yet again. This time, Michael Jackson's hits from the 80's. Yes, there's nothing quite like eating duck tongue to the tune of Thriller. It's just not something you get to do everyday! R was adventurous, trying the SNAKE. The arch-enemy has been conquered! Although, now that I think about it....R has been complaining of feeling queasy this afternoon. :-) R also ate snails (in their shells). J stuck to the safer Chinese options and added a Chinese attempt at pizza. M went to TOWN. We gave her a spoon and played "pretend eating" while R got her a plateful of rice and such. She's used to rice at every meal as the staple. We're giving that and other Chinese foods and slowly adding in American choices. We passed on ostrich tendons, beef stomach, and more similarly named entrees. wow. there's just no other word but wow.
We were thrilled to see dessert! Our first since leaving America and boy do we miss our sweets! We sampled the cheesecake - not sweet here. :-( So we went for ice cream...safe and steady and sure to please...unless you're R who thought that the green ice cream probably wasn't mint and was probably something more adventurous like kiwi....a nice big bowl later proved to be SEAWEED ICE CREAM. It wasn't even tempting with chocolate syrup! M did NOT like her ice cream - too cold! The only food she's turned down other than oranges. NO ORANGES, says M!
Tonight for dinner, we had to leave the hotel to save money on the price of food. Our guide took us to a new restaurant to try. The beef and pepper dish was literally at LEAST half and half spicy chili peppers and beef, maybe even 2/3 peppers and 1/3 beef. Oh MY! My lips (J) burned for an hour! M LOVED the tofu and ate a bowlful! She also liked steamed eggs. They look like the bubbles on the top of "real" vanilla pudding when you're making it from a Jello box. fluffy and light. Very different than anything I've seen.
M definitely acted more like a 2 year old tonight - still sweet and kind, but SILLY. She kept trying to steal people's chopsticks and then cracked up when we discovered they were gone. She also liked pretending to drink tea and eat pretend rice with the dumpling spoon. She is beginning to open up with the other two girls in our adoption group (adopted 3 and 5 years ago here to adopt a baby brother). It's so great for her to have some "big" girls to look up to!
We were thrilled to see dessert! Our first since leaving America and boy do we miss our sweets! We sampled the cheesecake - not sweet here. :-( So we went for ice cream...safe and steady and sure to please...unless you're R who thought that the green ice cream probably wasn't mint and was probably something more adventurous like kiwi....a nice big bowl later proved to be SEAWEED ICE CREAM. It wasn't even tempting with chocolate syrup! M did NOT like her ice cream - too cold! The only food she's turned down other than oranges. NO ORANGES, says M!
Tonight for dinner, we had to leave the hotel to save money on the price of food. Our guide took us to a new restaurant to try. The beef and pepper dish was literally at LEAST half and half spicy chili peppers and beef, maybe even 2/3 peppers and 1/3 beef. Oh MY! My lips (J) burned for an hour! M LOVED the tofu and ate a bowlful! She also liked steamed eggs. They look like the bubbles on the top of "real" vanilla pudding when you're making it from a Jello box. fluffy and light. Very different than anything I've seen.
M definitely acted more like a 2 year old tonight - still sweet and kind, but SILLY. She kept trying to steal people's chopsticks and then cracked up when we discovered they were gone. She also liked pretending to drink tea and eat pretend rice with the dumpling spoon. She is beginning to open up with the other two girls in our adoption group (adopted 3 and 5 years ago here to adopt a baby brother). It's so great for her to have some "big" girls to look up to!
Cute Video
We have some really cute video that we've been trying to upload all afternoon. Every time we start the upload our entire computer freezes. It's very frustrating. We soooo want to share this with ya'll. We'll keep trying.
G., M. can play soccer!
--R
G., M. can play soccer!
--R
Waiting to Register
Today we went back to the government office where we received M. yesterday. We had three separate meetings/interviews to finalize the adoption on the Chinese end.We needed our passports, 2450 RMB, $350 US, and three gifts for the officials interviewing us/notarizing our docs.
While waiting, our guide, Kathy, came in to have us recheck the info on forms we were given yesterday in the very midst of Gotcha. Martin (the other dad in our group) and I were both given these forms while we were video-taping the other's "Gotcha" moment. It was a little crazy. It had our names, passport #s, addresses, b-dates, and children's English names. I remember checking and rechecking them, while holding Martin's camera. When we got the forms back this morning for a final check--we had BOTH missed mistakes! YIKES! Fortunately we had this final check this morning.
We took turns in our meetings while the kids played together in the waiting room. It was so neat to see M. play with the other kids. (Martin's two adopted daughters and son adopted yesterday) She really joined in well and smiled and giggled with glee.
While M. looks happy in these pictures, there were tough moments. This was the same room she left her Orphanage director yesterday, and he was here again today. Each time he would pass through, she would start to cry. We were able to console her, though, and the cries were short lived.
HY in Ellington, S.'s pink sweater was worn over this sun-dress. Can you believe it went all the way to China? :-)
Registration of the Adoption
We had a family picture taken, then we went to another room to answer some basic questions. We had to put our thumb prints over signatures we signed on docs in our hotel rooms yesterday.M. had to do a whole hand print. She was fascinated by her red fingertips.
The final meeting was with a Notary. We had to print answers to some more basic questions about our family and desire to adopt. Finally we had to affirm that we would never abandon, abuse or discriminate against our daughter. We signed happily. With the payment of appropriate fees and these signatures, our adoption is considered finalized by the Chinese Government. We are officially M.'s parents!
We'll spend the next week waiting for her Chinese Visa and passport and our copies of these Registration Docs.
Director Wang (left) was accompanied by one of the orphanage nannies (though not the one that cared for M. Director Wang clearly (!) cares for M.
9.11.2008
Breakfast
After M. finally woke up (can't remember the last time I had to WAIT for one of my kids to wake up!) we took her down to breakfast at the hotel buffet. She would feed herself melon, banana and cheerios, but it seems she does not know what to do with a spoon. J. fed her rice and helped her drink from the glass. She was such a delight!
The buffet is really wild. Crazy mixtures of western and Chinese foods. Plenty of things you'd never think to eat for breakfast. My favorite today was the polenta bread. I gave M. samples of just about everything I ate and she tried it all. Boiled egg, polenta, omelet, and tomato juice. (not sure if she like that!)It's really fun to be down in the "coffee garden" in the morning. There are so many adoptive families walking around with their new children. The Chinese wait-staff are wonderful! They clearly love the children and are excited that they are being helped and cared for. They go out of their way to talk to, smile at, and play games with the kids.
What Mama Sees
M is just about to wake up here - we can hear her murmoring little Chinese phrases in her sleep. :- ) Too cute!
We've been told and read that we should not judge M's personality or abilities/skills by her time with us during the first few weeks (and sometimes months) with us. The kids have simply been through too much trauma to be themselves. Some act out, others withdraw, some clam up, some have temper tantrums and screaming fits. However, so far her personality seems to match up pretty well with what we've read in our papers pre-adoption.
Yesterday we met with the Orphanage Director for quite awhile and video taped it (Thank you TE in Ellington!). What we know for SURE is that M was VERY loved and it appears one of the orphanage favorites. :-) The Director kept smiling a huge smile and saying how sad everyone was to see her go and she was the one the nannies always wanted to hold because she was so sweet. He made us promise, "not to speak harsh words to her. She have sweet heart. When she do something wrong, you only look at her with little brow raised. That all. If not, she will cry very hard. has a sensitive heart." :-) THAT we've seen already when she thought I was upset that she spilled her milk. I tried to make a "uh-oh" face that was nice, but I'm not a master of Chinese expressions - who knows what I communicated??
If I were to assess her development based on our time with her (admittedly not much), I would guess that she is about a year behind in play skills, according to American standards. This is what we expected. She simply hasn't had much chance to interact with manipulatives. I'm sure she has not seen many books, has perhaps not played with toys in a tub (STARED hard at the cup and turning it over and over in the water looking at it as if for the first time), etc. Her physical stamina seems weak....this girl needs some hearty food, some sunshine and time running in the yard..the boys have their work cut out for them!
We THINK she was a bit spoiled at the orphanage, if you can say that. Because of her condition, the Director said she was fed by hand by the nannies (she's 2 1/2! now, she fed herself the fruit so she does some things, but we had to feed her the rice and meat) and held a lot. When we left, the nannies gave her a BAG of candy. She has this funny combination of a shy and slightly spoiled princess. We'll see if this is really the case or just her first 24 hours with us.
Oh! And one more thing....she is NOT potty trained as they said. Big Bummer about that one! We will head to the Chinese Walmart today or tomorrow to stock up on diapers. When I changed her, it was obvious there was a pattern because she would raise a foot to take off her shoe before I asked, then the other, then raise each leg one at a time, etc. When I got her into pj's last night, I must've done the order wrong because i started with the shirt and she was trying to lift her legs!
We are about to skype the boys to meet her for the first time....if she ever wakes up!
We've been told and read that we should not judge M's personality or abilities/skills by her time with us during the first few weeks (and sometimes months) with us. The kids have simply been through too much trauma to be themselves. Some act out, others withdraw, some clam up, some have temper tantrums and screaming fits. However, so far her personality seems to match up pretty well with what we've read in our papers pre-adoption.
Yesterday we met with the Orphanage Director for quite awhile and video taped it (Thank you TE in Ellington!). What we know for SURE is that M was VERY loved and it appears one of the orphanage favorites. :-) The Director kept smiling a huge smile and saying how sad everyone was to see her go and she was the one the nannies always wanted to hold because she was so sweet. He made us promise, "not to speak harsh words to her. She have sweet heart. When she do something wrong, you only look at her with little brow raised. That all. If not, she will cry very hard. has a sensitive heart." :-) THAT we've seen already when she thought I was upset that she spilled her milk. I tried to make a "uh-oh" face that was nice, but I'm not a master of Chinese expressions - who knows what I communicated??
If I were to assess her development based on our time with her (admittedly not much), I would guess that she is about a year behind in play skills, according to American standards. This is what we expected. She simply hasn't had much chance to interact with manipulatives. I'm sure she has not seen many books, has perhaps not played with toys in a tub (STARED hard at the cup and turning it over and over in the water looking at it as if for the first time), etc. Her physical stamina seems weak....this girl needs some hearty food, some sunshine and time running in the yard..the boys have their work cut out for them!
We THINK she was a bit spoiled at the orphanage, if you can say that. Because of her condition, the Director said she was fed by hand by the nannies (she's 2 1/2! now, she fed herself the fruit so she does some things, but we had to feed her the rice and meat) and held a lot. When we left, the nannies gave her a BAG of candy. She has this funny combination of a shy and slightly spoiled princess. We'll see if this is really the case or just her first 24 hours with us.
Oh! And one more thing....she is NOT potty trained as they said. Big Bummer about that one! We will head to the Chinese Walmart today or tomorrow to stock up on diapers. When I changed her, it was obvious there was a pattern because she would raise a foot to take off her shoe before I asked, then the other, then raise each leg one at a time, etc. When I got her into pj's last night, I must've done the order wrong because i started with the shirt and she was trying to lift her legs!
We are about to skype the boys to meet her for the first time....if she ever wakes up!
Gotcha Day
What an amazing day!
J. and M. are both asleep. I better join them soon. We've got a big morning ahead of us: M.'s first breakfast out in public, a trip to the Civil Affair's office for the registration of the adoption and a family picture. We will have two interviews, hand in a lot of money, and hand in a lot of paperwork. The adoption will be irrevocable from the Chinese side of things after tomorrow. WOW!
I have so much to write about this day, but I am starting to feel wiped. We are so blessed. Blessed to have such a beautiful girl, but also blessed to have an amazing support network of family and friends. We can't believe the comments and emails we've received, the excitement shared by so many. We are humbled to be a part of your lives and so glad and grateful that you're a part of ours.
Thank you.
The adventure continues tomorrow. I'd love to tell you more about "Gotcha Day." It was amazing. Here's one parting picture of J and I in the hotel lobby within half an hour of meeting M. We are loaded up with a camera, video recorder, three gifts for the orphanage director and nannies, a bag filled with treats, drinks, pull-ups, blanket, notebook for questions, outfit to give in exchange for what M. is wearing, etc. etc. etc. J. and I had a great time of prayer together in our room, then went down to meet our guide and other family. We were excited and nervous all at once.
Amazing. Simply amazing. Such amazing joy.
We'll write more in the morning and hopefully even have some video.
Asleep
And so she sleeps. Soundly. Breathing deeply. We had the full lights on for almost two hours after she fell asleep. Amazing. There's not much better than staring at sleeping kids. wow. This is the last picture for today, but I'd like to post some more about the experience and what is yet to come.
Sleep!
J. fed her some more after me, but M. was starting to doze off--while holding watermelon in one hand and cantaloupe in the other!
J. picked her up and within a few minutes M. was sound asleep on her shoulder--right about 8:00PM, which (orphanage) Director Wang said was her bedtime.
Dinner Time!
Things have really gone well. After the expected rough start, we've both been able to calm her and hold her. It took a while for us to be able to pass her to the other without her sobbing, but we ended the day with three successful passes in a row!We ordered room service after bath time. We really didn't know if she would eat or not. She took what must have been the longest journey of her life today (4-5 hours from her orphanage to Changsha) met us etc. Very traumatic we are sure! We saw her drink a-plenty but she's only held candy, crackers etc. without even tasting them. I had given her a cookie earlier and she did finally taste that. Well, you can see here, that dinner was a smashing success. J. ordered a hamburger (of questionable meat quality--left uneaten) off of the "western" part of the menu. I ordered a barbecued meat platter off the local part of the menu, some fried rice and wanton soup. We also got two nice-sized fruit plates. (grapes, cantaloupe, watermelon and a fruit we've seen here but have not yet identified.) M. sat on my lap and easily took the watermelon in hand and went to town. She watched me eat every bite of the meat (It must have been duck, actually) so I broke off tiny pieces and fed them to her. She ate them all. I also gave her fried rice. She ate. And ate. And ate. And ate. She ended up with several bites of meat, many mouthfuls of rice and a few slices of fruit. I'm getting the hang of those chop-sticks, too! This was amazing, and after the smile, possibly the next highlight of the day for me.
--R
Older Posts
FYI--If you're joining this late--there are more pics than visible here. Just go down to the bottom to "older posts" and see MORE!!!!
Bath Time
She took her first bath with us without even a whimper. It's clear she's done this before, but doesn't have a clue how to play with anything. It seems like she's never played with anything in a tub before. She would just stare at the cup and the penguin. Eventually she would gently fill and dump the cup.
GOTCHA!
See the lollipop in her hand? When we were talking with the Director and Nanny of the orphanage and she began screaming her head off again, the nanny gave her two lollipops and two hard candies. You can't see them all in the pix, but rest assured they are clutched in her tiny hands. she did NOT let them go or out of her sight until I gave her a bath 3 1/2 hours later! Oh wait! Funny...at one point, I opened one lollipop so that she could lick it (she had become upset again) and she WAILED. Apparently, the fun for M is picking off the wrapper bit by bit. We learned that as she patiently peeled fragments off of the other one for the next hour. Once open, she wasn't even interested in licking it!!
GOTCHA!
[are you seeing weird lines in those other pictures? They are not like that in originals. huh.]
J. gave her a Chinese "milk drink" that she came with and a cookie we brought. She was quite content to sip on that straw.
GOTCHA!
Of course, that smile didn't come RIGHT away.
She did not want to leave the orphanage director, and she wailed and wailed when I (R) first tried to hold her. I passed her on to J. and she kept crying and crying.
GOTCHA!
Please Be Patient! Sorry!
Hi.
I've been trying for more than an hour to upload pictures--but the whole computer keeps freezing up. I'm sooooooo sorry. I imagine there have to be a few of you who have already woken up to check. I'll keep trying--we've got loads of pictures.
Things are going as well as could be expected. We are thrilled!
J. is currently giving her a bath. We'll give many more details later.
In the mean time---let me try again with the pictures. SORRY!
--R
I've been trying for more than an hour to upload pictures--but the whole computer keeps freezing up. I'm sooooooo sorry. I imagine there have to be a few of you who have already woken up to check. I'll keep trying--we've got loads of pictures.
Things are going as well as could be expected. We are thrilled!
J. is currently giving her a bath. We'll give many more details later.
In the mean time---let me try again with the pictures. SORRY!
--R
One Hour Away
We meet our group in the lobby in 45 minutes and will get the the civil affairs office in about an hour. J. is worshipping via her i-pod; I'm (obviously) posting after changing some money over to RMB in the hotel lobby. Now I'll pray for a bit to ready myself for this new beginning.
I had not yet until today felt that "excited catch" in my heart that I often get when traveling or doing something exciting. I think I'm finally getting rested enough to "feel" things. I've definitely got that excited feeling right now.
I wonder if any of ya'll will even read this post. ha. When you wake up there will be more posts above this that will be far more interesting to you.
I had not yet until today felt that "excited catch" in my heart that I often get when traveling or doing something exciting. I think I'm finally getting rested enough to "feel" things. I've definitely got that excited feeling right now.
I wonder if any of ya'll will even read this post. ha. When you wake up there will be more posts above this that will be far more interesting to you.
Prices in Changsha
After breakfast today we had a meeting with the other CCAI family and our guide, Kathy. At some point we'll post about Kathy; she's wonderful. After this meeting, Kathy brought us out to a local grocery store. A little mart in the midst of a city block. We wanted to get some bottled water and some snacks that M. might appreciate. Later in the trip we'll have to pick up a few things for the boys, so they can try some different things and see the Chinese packaging.
We picked up about 6 bottles of water, a couple diet cokes for J., some jello, milk candy, cookies, crackers, and some other food stuffs our guide recommended. I think also some drinkable yogurt-type stuff. Finally we added a bottle of "Great Wall Wine." We bought all these items plus a bag in which to carry them for 72 yuan, or about 10 US dollars.
We then had lunch at a local restaurant. We fed five adults and two children for 94 yuan, or about 13 US dollars TOTAL. These prices are substantially less than Beijing, and we are greatly encouraged because we will spend the bulk of our time here.
We picked up about 6 bottles of water, a couple diet cokes for J., some jello, milk candy, cookies, crackers, and some other food stuffs our guide recommended. I think also some drinkable yogurt-type stuff. Finally we added a bottle of "Great Wall Wine." We bought all these items plus a bag in which to carry them for 72 yuan, or about 10 US dollars.
We then had lunch at a local restaurant. We fed five adults and two children for 94 yuan, or about 13 US dollars TOTAL. These prices are substantially less than Beijing, and we are greatly encouraged because we will spend the bulk of our time here.
9.10.2008
Let the Muzak Play
The view from our hotel room. These are apartments. The land is owned by the government, but the people are allowed to "own" the apartments inside for 70 years. At that time, the apartment belongs once again to the government. There seems to be a much lower standard of living here in Changsha than in Beijing.
This morning we dined to the Muzak of "Chariots of Fire." You all know us....it took all the control we could muster not to run in slow motion to buffet! :-)
Choices this morning included bean curd, dumplings, and some kind of sausage (R says it did not taste like anything he's had before). Gone are all "American" options, except for an assortment of cold cereals. J can handle and appreciate Chinese food for lunch and dinner, but not at breakfast, yet. Even R is taking things easy - a few samples of the dishes, but slow and steady...we don't want to be sick the day we meet M! We tried to get decaf coffee this morning. We said, "Decaf?" The waitress answered, "Two teas?" "No caffeine," we tried. "No tea?" "No tea," we answered, "Coffee bu caffeine" (look at our awesome Chinese!) "2 Coffee?" We smile at each other. We gave up. "Coffee would be nice." Yes, it had caffeine. :-)
Off to visit the local grocery market and purchase Chinese snack foods for our new kids today. We will have dinner with M!
You All Are Such an Encouragement
Just a quick note to say how encouraged we are by your comments. It's so nice to know that you are all journeying with us! When you all wake up, pictures of M should be here!
Thanks, too, for your prayers. R's back is feeling a bit better (despite the mattress! R says the one in Kenya was better!) and our stomachs are now only fairly queasy. Please keep praying for our boys...they're doing well, but Gabe misses mom!
Thanks, too, for your prayers. R's back is feeling a bit better (despite the mattress! R says the one in Kenya was better!) and our stomachs are now only fairly queasy. Please keep praying for our boys...they're doing well, but Gabe misses mom!
A Few Random Pics
Here are a few random images from our trip before we post the really important ones later today. :-)On top of a turret on the Great Wall with a man from Russia and two men from Le Sotho. (no, I'd never heard of it either.)
Holy cloisonne bat-man!
Bikes in Beijing.
Fun in the park outside the Temple of Heaven.
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