The MA Family via Skype!
wow.
We've been trying to get her to wave but with no success. At the very end of our Skype session J got M. to wave at the monitor and even say: "Bye! Bye!"
COOL!
That's the first official use of English.
We had a questionable use of "No" earlier this evening, but we're not sure. (we wouldn't be surprised if that was actually her first English--but we'll await further use for confirmation. For now--"bye bye" is it. (though it was clearly coached.)
We did have a clear comprehension of the word "garbage." She had a wrapper in her hand, and I took her by the hand to the garbage can, pointed and said "garbage" and threw the wrapper out with her. Much later on, I gave her a plastic bottle or something and said, "garbage. Please put that in the garbage." She took it, walked all the way across the room, around her mother and put it in the can! COOL!
Showing posts with label Communicating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communicating. Show all posts
9.13.2008
Mom or Dad?
You read so many books, blogs and what-not about the experiences of others. It is quite common for the children to latch on to one parent to various degrees. Some clearly resist (w/ tears and tantrums) being with the other parent; Some kids are practically glued to one parent; Some just have a preference that is clearly seen and felt. This can last for hours, days, weeks, even months. and it can change!
So what's been our experience so far?
Well, mom is CLEARLY preferred over dad when M. wakes up. If dad tries to get her out of the crib there are always tears. Mom is clearly preferred over dad when there are tears. I've been able to do some limited consoling--but J. does it most. Mom is clearly preferred when M. is apparently nervous, shy or uncertain. For example we tried a couple public (on the street) hand-offs yesterday, and I quickly got "the pout" that usually leads to tears if X action is not averted.
With that said: I got the first smile; the first giggles and the only clear "name" spoken moments. I got the first open mouthed kiss--J. got the first "regular" lip-smacking one.
On balance, it's really....balanced! When she's fully awake and at ease we can both hold her; she comes to both of us; she takes food and drink from both of us; she allows both to change her; she holds hands with both of us and plays with both of us. It's wonderful!
So what's been our experience so far?
Well, mom is CLEARLY preferred over dad when M. wakes up. If dad tries to get her out of the crib there are always tears. Mom is clearly preferred over dad when there are tears. I've been able to do some limited consoling--but J. does it most. Mom is clearly preferred when M. is apparently nervous, shy or uncertain. For example we tried a couple public (on the street) hand-offs yesterday, and I quickly got "the pout" that usually leads to tears if X action is not averted.
With that said: I got the first smile; the first giggles and the only clear "name" spoken moments. I got the first open mouthed kiss--J. got the first "regular" lip-smacking one.
On balance, it's really....balanced! When she's fully awake and at ease we can both hold her; she comes to both of us; she takes food and drink from both of us; she allows both to change her; she holds hands with both of us and plays with both of us. It's wonderful!
Communicating
We were emailed the following question:
We're curious about how you all communicate...does she repeat anything you all say? She called you baba...have you been saying that for 2 days straight, or what? Are you using English terms too, and has she said any of those?
This ties somewhat into a previous post about the uncertainty of her knowledge of Mandarin. As we've mentioned, (I think) we were tutored for exactly one hour in some basic Mandarin phrases and have read through (and listened to the audio version of) a basic speaking book from our agency. We have that book and the cheat-sheet from the tutor with us and have referred to and practiced from them often. We also try to practice with our guides.
We've had two guides, one in Beijing and one here in Changsha. We notice that THEY say words and phrases differently. We can tell what they are, but they correct the pronunciation we got from the tutor, or from the other guide. It's confusing. So who knows if our pronunciation is even intelligible.
Never-the-less we try. We do try to use some simple (Mandarin) words with M. We also just speak English and use a lot of gestures. We also use the Mandarin we know followed by the English and gestures. We believe that there are some words that EVERYONE seems to know, such as baba and mama (dad and mom). All the guides, the tutor, the book, nannies and directors etc etc. etc. have used them. They were spoken passionately to the children by guides, nannies and directors alike at "Gotcha" with reference to us, and natives continue to use those terms of us when speaking to our daughter. We also repeat them playfully along with "mom" and "dad" etc.
I can't say we heard M. say a single word or sound that sounded like a word in any language on either 9/11 or 9/12. She was extremely quiet. Even though she smiled and giggled a bunch yesterday, she still had not really spoken. I heard something in her sleep, but am uncertain if it was some form of Chinese or just some muttering. Today (9/13 in China) we've heard several words in Chinese. Nothing in English. I'd be shocked to hear that so soon. We've only been with her from 54 hours! (wow, they've been a full 54 hours!)
On the one hand, our guide has wondered how much Mandarin M. has heard from her nannies. She sees that it can be quite difficult to communicate with both M. and the other boy in the group (from yet another area of Hunan.) They don't always seem to respond to her. But there's clearly not a congnitive issue--they both appear to be very bright. On the other hand, she does respond at times. Also, she said a word over and over again in the play room while throwing a ball. We repeated the sounds to our guide and after a couple attempts she realized she was saying the word for "throw." Makes sense. She's said a few other words in the room repetitively --a couple phrases having to do with a book; a couple with eating. (so it seems.)
Starting at breakfast, this was a day full of mutual communication. She clearly made signs to us asking for things throughout the day. She pointedto her milk and clearly wanted to drink it. She pointed to her neck and clearly wanted us to fix the napkin (drat! we forgot BIBS!!!!) that was sliding down. etc.
We're just winging it all the best we can. We just know that she's definitely responding to us and communicating back to us in a host of verbal and non-verbal ways. And it's great! She definitely called me "baba" and it was an absolutely amazing feeling that still lingers nine hours later.
--R
We're curious about how you all communicate...does she repeat anything you all say? She called you baba...have you been saying that for 2 days straight, or what? Are you using English terms too, and has she said any of those?
This ties somewhat into a previous post about the uncertainty of her knowledge of Mandarin. As we've mentioned, (I think) we were tutored for exactly one hour in some basic Mandarin phrases and have read through (and listened to the audio version of) a basic speaking book from our agency. We have that book and the cheat-sheet from the tutor with us and have referred to and practiced from them often. We also try to practice with our guides.
We've had two guides, one in Beijing and one here in Changsha. We notice that THEY say words and phrases differently. We can tell what they are, but they correct the pronunciation we got from the tutor, or from the other guide. It's confusing. So who knows if our pronunciation is even intelligible.
Never-the-less we try. We do try to use some simple (Mandarin) words with M. We also just speak English and use a lot of gestures. We also use the Mandarin we know followed by the English and gestures. We believe that there are some words that EVERYONE seems to know, such as baba and mama (dad and mom). All the guides, the tutor, the book, nannies and directors etc etc. etc. have used them. They were spoken passionately to the children by guides, nannies and directors alike at "Gotcha" with reference to us, and natives continue to use those terms of us when speaking to our daughter. We also repeat them playfully along with "mom" and "dad" etc.
I can't say we heard M. say a single word or sound that sounded like a word in any language on either 9/11 or 9/12. She was extremely quiet. Even though she smiled and giggled a bunch yesterday, she still had not really spoken. I heard something in her sleep, but am uncertain if it was some form of Chinese or just some muttering. Today (9/13 in China) we've heard several words in Chinese. Nothing in English. I'd be shocked to hear that so soon. We've only been with her from 54 hours! (wow, they've been a full 54 hours!)
On the one hand, our guide has wondered how much Mandarin M. has heard from her nannies. She sees that it can be quite difficult to communicate with both M. and the other boy in the group (from yet another area of Hunan.) They don't always seem to respond to her. But there's clearly not a congnitive issue--they both appear to be very bright. On the other hand, she does respond at times. Also, she said a word over and over again in the play room while throwing a ball. We repeated the sounds to our guide and after a couple attempts she realized she was saying the word for "throw." Makes sense. She's said a few other words in the room repetitively --a couple phrases having to do with a book; a couple with eating. (so it seems.)
Starting at breakfast, this was a day full of mutual communication. She clearly made signs to us asking for things throughout the day. She pointedto her milk and clearly wanted to drink it. She pointed to her neck and clearly wanted us to fix the napkin (drat! we forgot BIBS!!!!) that was sliding down. etc.
We're just winging it all the best we can. We just know that she's definitely responding to us and communicating back to us in a host of verbal and non-verbal ways. And it's great! She definitely called me "baba" and it was an absolutely amazing feeling that still lingers nine hours later.
--R
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