"I know going to school is a privilege....but it doesn't feel like a very big one!"
;-)
2.26.2010
2.24.2010
We're Having an Off Day
We're having an off day. It's gray and raining AGAIN, which I'm sure isn't helping any of our moods. But for Miss M it's been tough. School was delayed for a supposed mixture of ice and rain and so the day began without a schedule. For those of you with little ones who need routine, you understand the struggle immediately. Things just weren't "right." Normally, she can go with the flow pretty well, but not today.
Twice today we've struggled through "adoption moments." This morning, R asked M to do something and she ignored him. Of course, we couldn't let that go by so he insisted that she obey. She was obstinent for a bit - a bit of a spoiled princess attitude going on. But then in the blink of an eye it changed and we could see it. Gone was the defiance replaced by the haunting absent stare to the side. She doesn't do it often. But when things are really hard for her emotionally, she will sometimes withdraw into her own world. She wrings her tiny hands in a way that lets you know that she's just torn apart on the inside. She turns her body to the side and avoids your eyes. She has gone into "defend yourself at all cost by not responding" mode.
IT BREAKS OUR HEARTS. How long did she cry in China before she realized that it was easier to stop feeling and responding?
This afternoon, as I lay her down for her rest time, she fell apart because she wasn't IN her blankets. For as long as we've known her, she HAS to be in the bed in a specific way so that she can sleep. I wanted to encouraged her to try sleeping a new way. Only as I'm thinking through the day now do I realize that this was not the best day to try it. Ah, hindsight! Needless to say, she was a mess. She simply could NOT lay down differently than she did in China. She could NOT. Eventually, she tried but it was so painful to watch her.
R and I were just discussing this morning how unique it is to parent a child who is adopted at an older age. You simply can't let them make all of their own decisions and determine what they will and will not do. Just like a bio kid, they won't feel safe calling all of the shots. And yet we have to let her make some decisions and determine her own pace. It's hard to know where the line is between the two. Above all else, it takes TIME to parent children like this. You simply can't rush them. You can't expect them to "catch on" on your timetable, etc. It's definitely a journey.
Now this mom is enjoying an afternoon cup of coffee while the rain pitter patters and M is snoozing. And HOPEFULLY, I'll be refreshed enough to love on my kids all over again in about an hour. :-)
Twice today we've struggled through "adoption moments." This morning, R asked M to do something and she ignored him. Of course, we couldn't let that go by so he insisted that she obey. She was obstinent for a bit - a bit of a spoiled princess attitude going on. But then in the blink of an eye it changed and we could see it. Gone was the defiance replaced by the haunting absent stare to the side. She doesn't do it often. But when things are really hard for her emotionally, she will sometimes withdraw into her own world. She wrings her tiny hands in a way that lets you know that she's just torn apart on the inside. She turns her body to the side and avoids your eyes. She has gone into "defend yourself at all cost by not responding" mode.
IT BREAKS OUR HEARTS. How long did she cry in China before she realized that it was easier to stop feeling and responding?
This afternoon, as I lay her down for her rest time, she fell apart because she wasn't IN her blankets. For as long as we've known her, she HAS to be in the bed in a specific way so that she can sleep. I wanted to encouraged her to try sleeping a new way. Only as I'm thinking through the day now do I realize that this was not the best day to try it. Ah, hindsight! Needless to say, she was a mess. She simply could NOT lay down differently than she did in China. She could NOT. Eventually, she tried but it was so painful to watch her.
R and I were just discussing this morning how unique it is to parent a child who is adopted at an older age. You simply can't let them make all of their own decisions and determine what they will and will not do. Just like a bio kid, they won't feel safe calling all of the shots. And yet we have to let her make some decisions and determine her own pace. It's hard to know where the line is between the two. Above all else, it takes TIME to parent children like this. You simply can't rush them. You can't expect them to "catch on" on your timetable, etc. It's definitely a journey.
Now this mom is enjoying an afternoon cup of coffee while the rain pitter patters and M is snoozing. And HOPEFULLY, I'll be refreshed enough to love on my kids all over again in about an hour. :-)
2.23.2010
Get it Right, Mom!
So yesterday I was all proud of myself when I pulled out an adorable pink dress for M to wear to the tea party only to have her announce that it was an Ariel dress.
A WHAT? It's a pink, frilly princess dress. No brand name. No Disney label.
M has favorite princesses...she likes the classics...Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White. Don't misunderstand. The girl likes ALL princesses, BUT Ariel and Belle definitely take a backseat in her mind. This meant the gown was not as beloved as I would have thought.
WHY was it an Ariel dress and not a Sleeping Beauty gown? I actually spent time looking at a genuine Sleeping Beauty dress at the store(label and all) and thought, "She'll never know the difference. It's pink!"
Today I asked. She looked at me like it was so obvious. "Seeping Beauty up, up," she said as she gestured to the collar area of the dress. "Awiel down, down." Yep. Apparently, Ariel's dress has puff sleeves and Sleeping Beauty's does NOT.
Here I thought this Tomboy turned Tea Party Mom had figured some things out about all things girly. I guess I've got a ways to go!
A WHAT? It's a pink, frilly princess dress. No brand name. No Disney label.
M has favorite princesses...she likes the classics...Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White. Don't misunderstand. The girl likes ALL princesses, BUT Ariel and Belle definitely take a backseat in her mind. This meant the gown was not as beloved as I would have thought.
WHY was it an Ariel dress and not a Sleeping Beauty gown? I actually spent time looking at a genuine Sleeping Beauty dress at the store(label and all) and thought, "She'll never know the difference. It's pink!"
Today I asked. She looked at me like it was so obvious. "Seeping Beauty up, up," she said as she gestured to the collar area of the dress. "Awiel down, down." Yep. Apparently, Ariel's dress has puff sleeves and Sleeping Beauty's does NOT.
Here I thought this Tomboy turned Tea Party Mom had figured some things out about all things girly. I guess I've got a ways to go!
2.22.2010
Cheerio!
The big day arrived full of sunshine and smiles! Inspired by the cute tale of girl who eats WAY too many cupcakes and turns pink, we hosted a Pinkalicious tea party to see if the same would happen to us!
The girls giggled and giggled and GIGGLED while they chose dresses and shoes, picked out sparkly jewelry and did each other's hair. Each girl took a trip to the china cabinet to pick out a special tea cup to use for the day. They were adorable as they oohed and ahhed over the patterns.
Then Miss S of Ellington, Miss K of Miller Road and Miss M of South Windsor dined on all pink foods...strawberries and watermelon with strawberry cream dip, strawberry spread sandwiches and cinnamon heart sandwiches, and decorate your own pink cupcakes for dessert. We even managed to find different shades of pink sprinkles.
The girls totally got into the act of using accents and asking each other about the weather and their brothers (princes, of course). We made sure to keep checking each other's skin for any signs of pinkititis!
I think it's a success when the girls BEG all the way through to have another tea party SOON! Right now, the princess in THIS house is wiped out and snuggled on the sofa watching Olivia. :-)
An Amazing Wife
R, here. Just a quick post to say I have such an amazing wife. She planned a Pinkalicious Tea Party for M. and a couple friends. I'm sure pictures of the beautiful set-up and the fun they are soon to have will appear later. They should be starting about now. I just had to say what a joy it is being married to this woman and parenting with her. Her love for her kids is clearly evident on this blog--but seeing it all in "real life" is even better.
I love you, J. You are a blessing!
I love you, J. You are a blessing!
2.21.2010
I love this boy!
I love this boy!
I snapped this shot last week as G waited and waited and waited for a blizzard that never came. It captures G's essence....joyful anticipation. For him, the simple things of life truly delight. Hot cocoa with a big marshmallow (or 2 or 3 or 5), a campfire, a fresh raspberry on the bush in the yard. When life is too busy, we only need to slow down a bit to watch G take in the world and we're reminded that time is precious and moments together can be as sweet as sunshine.
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