3.11.2015
3.10.2015
Happy
We've been asked how the girls feel about our upcoming adoption. Well, here's what I found Violet drawing during church on Sunday. :-)
3.08.2015
Led to Levi
May I tell you a story? I promise you'll walk away absolutely convinced that God absolutely cares about the orphan and works all things out in the most amazingly intricate ways.
About 9 months ago, I was driving Bigfoot. The kids were in the back chattering away, the music was on, and the windows were down. And I remember that while I was singing my heart out, the name Levi ran through my mind. I thought it was odd because I don't randomly recite the 12 tribes of Israel. ;-) I chalked it up to concussion brain and moved on.
A few weeks later, the same thing happened. Again and again it happened. Then the name began to come into my head while I did household chores. And errands around town. It began to creep into my head while I was doing homework. And at the grocery store. I'm telling you, it was kind of crazy.
I actually said to Randall, "It's too bad we're not adopting a boy because I've got the perfect name!"
And I meant it.
Our social worker even asked if we wanted to add that we were open to a boy. Nope. Nada.
We began to look at the files of several little girls. Each time, we would feel a definite lack of peace about going forward. Sure, there were some real reasons that made us think carefully about whether we could provide the home these particular girls needed...but there was also a very palpable tension in our spirits. None of them felt "right."
Except one time...there was one little girl...we wanted so much to adopt her...and we thought we would be! The agency led us to believe that she would be ours and at the last minute, her file was unavailable. It just didn't make sense.
The whole time I kept hearing the name Levi in my head.
I began to question my heart...did I really want to give a home to a child who needed one or did I really only want something for myself? ANYONE who has adopted will tell you it is downright dangerous to go into an adoption for yourself. It's not fair to the child and it can wreak havoc on your existing family and yourself. Children who are adopted come from tragic situations. They have already been hurt (usually multiple times) and you can spend a lifetime helping them to heal. An adoptive parent is called to be a servant. Not to get something in return. The child might grow to love you, but then again, they might not...and it's through no fault of their own...they've been deeply hurt and trust comes slooooowly.
I knew there were lots of boys waiting in China to be adopted. Most of these boys have special needs. In China, having a special need of any kind means that you have bad luck and your bad luck can be contagious! Children are also left because medical care is hard to get and extremely hard for most people to pay for.
I began to pray and to ask God to show me the motives of my heart. Want to be humbled? Ask God to do this in your life. Scary what we hold onto and think is just fine!
When I examined my heart I realized that a lot of what kept me from wanting to adopt a boy was fear. Because I wanted a girl so much, I was afraid that I might not ever love a boy. I was afraid I wouldn't bond with one! That I wouldn't feel that connection and attachment to a boy.
I read this blog post and it resonated with every inch of my being.
My prayers changed. I began to actually say, "Not my will, Lord...but yours."
One night, Randall and I were sitting in our bed and talking about all of this. He, too, had begun to pray that if God wanted us to have a boy that He would make it clear. I shared with Randall that I had been hearing the name of Levi in my head since last summer...but that I kept ignoring it because I didn't want to think about what it might mean. I wondered if it was just a coincidence, or if God was trying to tell me something.
We prayed together. We asked God to lead us. When we finished, I suggested we look up the name Levi...just in case God was trying to get my attention with it.
It means
"bonded to; attached"
I knew it was God's whisper to me that if we were to adopt a boy that I would love that little man with every part of my being...because God's love empowers us to!
The very next week, we saw our little guy's picture and we instantly knew....he was the one we had been waiting for. He was our Levi. We opened his file. Every detail fell perfectly into place...he shared each of our girls' special needs and the file was full of confirming details to our hearts. We felt instant love for this little boy. We actually grin like kids on Christmas morning when we look at his picture. It's ridiculously crazy. And just like God.
Friends, God is in the details! When you want to follow God and you ask Him to lead you, He will! And when you ask Him to change your heart to be like His, He will! So often we miss the blessings He has for us because we aren't willing to be obedient. Maybe we fear it won't be fun? Or it will be hard? Maybe it will. Maybe it will be harder than hard. But there is such JOY in the following because there is nothing better than knowing that you are where you are meant to be!
What adventure does God have you on right now? Where are you resistant to change? Where do you refuse to be go? What do you refuse to do? Might it be time to ask Him if you're missing out on something amazing???
About 9 months ago, I was driving Bigfoot. The kids were in the back chattering away, the music was on, and the windows were down. And I remember that while I was singing my heart out, the name Levi ran through my mind. I thought it was odd because I don't randomly recite the 12 tribes of Israel. ;-) I chalked it up to concussion brain and moved on.
A few weeks later, the same thing happened. Again and again it happened. Then the name began to come into my head while I did household chores. And errands around town. It began to creep into my head while I was doing homework. And at the grocery store. I'm telling you, it was kind of crazy.
I actually said to Randall, "It's too bad we're not adopting a boy because I've got the perfect name!"
And I meant it.
Our paperwork was for a girl. I was so excited to add another little white bed to the girls' room. We were daydreaming about our soon to be Brady Bunch. All we needed was Alice! Lord, do we need Alice around here!
We began to look at the files of several little girls. Each time, we would feel a definite lack of peace about going forward. Sure, there were some real reasons that made us think carefully about whether we could provide the home these particular girls needed...but there was also a very palpable tension in our spirits. None of them felt "right."
Except one time...there was one little girl...we wanted so much to adopt her...and we thought we would be! The agency led us to believe that she would be ours and at the last minute, her file was unavailable. It just didn't make sense.
The whole time I kept hearing the name Levi in my head.
I began to question my heart...did I really want to give a home to a child who needed one or did I really only want something for myself? ANYONE who has adopted will tell you it is downright dangerous to go into an adoption for yourself. It's not fair to the child and it can wreak havoc on your existing family and yourself. Children who are adopted come from tragic situations. They have already been hurt (usually multiple times) and you can spend a lifetime helping them to heal. An adoptive parent is called to be a servant. Not to get something in return. The child might grow to love you, but then again, they might not...and it's through no fault of their own...they've been deeply hurt and trust comes slooooowly.
I knew there were lots of boys waiting in China to be adopted. Most of these boys have special needs. In China, having a special need of any kind means that you have bad luck and your bad luck can be contagious! Children are also left because medical care is hard to get and extremely hard for most people to pay for.
I began to pray and to ask God to show me the motives of my heart. Want to be humbled? Ask God to do this in your life. Scary what we hold onto and think is just fine!
When I examined my heart I realized that a lot of what kept me from wanting to adopt a boy was fear. Because I wanted a girl so much, I was afraid that I might not ever love a boy. I was afraid I wouldn't bond with one! That I wouldn't feel that connection and attachment to a boy.
I read this blog post and it resonated with every inch of my being.
My prayers changed. I began to actually say, "Not my will, Lord...but yours."
One night, Randall and I were sitting in our bed and talking about all of this. He, too, had begun to pray that if God wanted us to have a boy that He would make it clear. I shared with Randall that I had been hearing the name of Levi in my head since last summer...but that I kept ignoring it because I didn't want to think about what it might mean. I wondered if it was just a coincidence, or if God was trying to tell me something.
We prayed together. We asked God to lead us. When we finished, I suggested we look up the name Levi...just in case God was trying to get my attention with it.
It means
"bonded to; attached"
I knew it was God's whisper to me that if we were to adopt a boy that I would love that little man with every part of my being...because God's love empowers us to!
The very next week, we saw our little guy's picture and we instantly knew....he was the one we had been waiting for. He was our Levi. We opened his file. Every detail fell perfectly into place...he shared each of our girls' special needs and the file was full of confirming details to our hearts. We felt instant love for this little boy. We actually grin like kids on Christmas morning when we look at his picture. It's ridiculously crazy. And just like God.
Friends, God is in the details! When you want to follow God and you ask Him to lead you, He will! And when you ask Him to change your heart to be like His, He will! So often we miss the blessings He has for us because we aren't willing to be obedient. Maybe we fear it won't be fun? Or it will be hard? Maybe it will. Maybe it will be harder than hard. But there is such JOY in the following because there is nothing better than knowing that you are where you are meant to be!
What adventure does God have you on right now? Where are you resistant to change? Where do you refuse to be go? What do you refuse to do? Might it be time to ask Him if you're missing out on something amazing???
Levi Thomas
We are over the moon with joy about adding little Levi to our family!!! I'm working on a post about how we ended up requesting Mr. Handsome, but thought you might appreciate some fun facts about him.
He is 3.
He currently lives in southern China.
He shares both of our girls' special needs; he has a limb difference and some form of thalassemia to be clarified when he arrives in the States.
He loves music, going outside, and playing with older kids. If these are still true, won't he fit in perfectly with the Pekari family???
His middle name will be after my uncle Thomas, who shares Levi's love for cars. ;-)
Apparently, he has quite a vocabulary. Too bad we don't speak Mandarin.
My favorite story is that one day he went into his little preschool, turned a bucket upside down and proceeded to stand on top of it. He asked the nanny to put on music, stood on top of the bucket, and sang his heart out. A future worship leader, perhaps? :-)
He is smart. He was putting on his own socks and shoes and feeding himself with a spoon while holding a cup...with one hand...at 18 months old. Can someone say, Violet's younger brother?
What else do we know? We will likely travel this summer, but won't know which month until later this spring. We do know that it will be hot. As in, dreadfully hot and humid. We were in southern China when we adopted Mia in the summer...no a/c most places. Good times. Good times. All we wanted to do when we got to the port city was suck on ice cubes.
We hope to hear this week that we have approval from OUR government to take the next steps of submitting our long-done dossier. Hoping for two weeks from now or less!
We find ourselves grinning at just the thought of him.
Speaking of grins, his goofy grin in the picture below reminded me of someone the moment I saw it...
So thankful that God has allowed us to love one more precious child!
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