Adoption Is...

Adoption is hard.  No joke.  It's like a Ferris wheel, a ride spinning over and over with cycles of pleasure and cycles of pain.  There are the happy moments.  Like when Violet identifies with our family.  Knows she is one of us.  Mia came home from school this week and said, "A teacher said the Pekari kids are smart!"  Violet beamed, piping right up saying, "I a Pekari!"  She laughs, she skips, she anticipates new adventures and daily routines.  She is working so hard to fit in.

But when no one's looking, you can see...she is TRYING.  When she thinks she's alone (and sometimes when she knows she's not), there are glimpses of her heart.  Confused.  Overwhelmed.  Sad.  Lonely.

Here are two pictures taken by a friend at the same church event last night...one she knew was being taken and one she didn't.  Pretty much sums it up.

 
To say her sad face hurts my heart does no justice.  I ACHE for her.  I feel responsible.  I want to fix it.  Remove it.  Make everything better.  I KNOW coming here was the right thing for her and I KNOW only God can truly make all things new for her.  I KNOW I can't rush this journey.  I KNOW it will take day after day after day of baby steps to reach understanding.  And acceptance.  And, I pray, joy.

But look at that face...wouldn't it haunt YOU?

Pray for our peanut, will you?