Keep Quiet!

Visa Photo, Medical, Clinic, Paperwork and Shopping

That was yesterday. We had a great breakfast at the White Swan buffet then met our guide to go across the street to a little mart for M.'s visa photo. We got there just in time--it was mayhem within moments. Our group of four families was quickly joined my many, many more squirmy toddlers, crying babies and frazzled parents.

We escaped with our pictures and walked a few blocks across the island to the medical clinic of ENT, Height and Weight, and general check of of the children. Again, our guide got us there just in time! Within a short time of getting in line, a mob of other families descended on the clinic. Utter chaos. Check out the video I'll try to post in a little bit.

After we got our official business out of the way, it was time for some shopping. There are lots and lots of shops eager(!) for adoptive family business. Unfortunately, our third time adoptive parent group mates said things have changed. Its not as cheap, and there is not as much variety as there once was. Ah, well. We still found some interesting things---with many more shops to go! We finished the morning at Starbucks with some friends.

We LOVE you boys!!!!!!

Poor internet = tough to Skype. For some reason I can post here right now---but can't get to my email. So we'll leave you a note right here. Sorry we missed you this morning! We can't wait to talk to you again. Hopefully we can tomorrow morning. We hope you have a fun time with your Uncle!

Love you!
Mom and Dad

Internet Troubles

We are having massive net problems here at the White Swan. Net use was FREE in Changsha--here it will cost us a bit for the week--and we've hardly been able to get on today! UGH. So......If you don't hear much from us---that's why. We've got lots to say-- and will have some more pictures (of course!).

Age of Adopters

We can no longer count the number of people here who have been surprised that we now have four children. They think we look too young! We'll take that compliment (although we know how much younger we looked before children!).

So what is the average age of adopting parents? We don't know precisely, but from experience in Beijing, Hunan, and Guangzhou, we're guessing the average age is mid 40's. There are couples in their later 30's and many couples in their upper 40's and 50's. We've actually only met two couples where both husband and wife were our age.

So...if you're reading this blog and thinking, "Are we too old to think about adoption?" The answer is NO! There are so many waiting children it's mind-boggling. Here in China there is such an appreciation for Americans adopting. We've had so many people literally thank us. They feel badly that their country is unable to care for them and think the children are genuinely lucky to live in America. It is an amazing feeling to know that we can help in some way. Then we look down at M snuggled in our arms and think, "Really, we're the lucky ones." :-)

If You Want A Great Night Of Sleep

Don't stay at a place that's filled to overflowing with newly adopted infants and toddlers.

Now MY child slept (is still sleeping) blissfully. Her dad did not. This was due to a few crying babies on our floor and more recently a rhythmic thumping/tapping sound that continued for about an hour. I imagined it to be some dad playing some game on the floor with his kid. I fault neither the kids nor their new parents. I know that the parents want nothing more than to be sleeping themselves. I know that one of the less desirable things that kids do is not sleep when they darn well should be and that super-parent-though-you-may-be, you can't always induce a pleasant slumber on demand.

I blame the hotel. Can we have some wall and floor thickness, people? I just spent a week in Changsha. It wasn't my favorite place on the planet by a long-shot. Yet, our hotel floor was almost exclusively adoptive families--and narry a sound was to be heard. It can be done. The White Swan is like a Mecca for Chinese adoptive families. EVERYONE has to go to Guangzhou. MOST of those everyones stay here. I recommend a section by section renovation involving LOTS of sound blocking insulation.

Still Glowing

OK.
I'm still glowing over the triple victory of an hour ago.

1) she went IN the toilet!!!! And she was pretty durn gleeful, cute and proud of herself when she did it!
2) she didn't even FLINCH when I lifted her up to stand there to do it.
3) she didn't even flich AGAIN when I lifted her into the tub and gave her a bath.

It was all soooooo much fun. She just smiled and giggled all the way through. wow. She's a hoot in the tub. You can just pour the water right over her head and then when it's time to rinse, she just flops back and lays in the water. It's GREAT! No whimpering. No grimacing. No refusal to get water in her eyes.

I know J. posted this all already, but YEE-HAAAWWWWWW!!!!

Noise

It's a good thing Miss M. is quite the sleeper. Once again she is down for the count with no effort at all. And it's a good thing because this place is decidedly louder than Changsha. Well, so far anyway.

In Changsha we shared a floor with a host of other adoptive families as well--but we seldom heard them! Just now I could hear a few different babies wailing away. AND we can hear wild music from the river boats out our window. NOT exactly quiet. Ah, well. M.'s asleep.

The Papa No Hutt

I guess it's Papa John's here on Shamian Island (where our hotel is in Guangzhou) The menu was typical western stuff (with some Chinese writing) Nothing strange. Here's our delivery guy and his bike and his posed shot. I only include the blurry one for our pizza delivery friend. I'm sorry--I rushed the shot.

We LOVE Guangzhou! Or at least, we think we do!

Safely nestled in our hotel room, we are thrilled to be in Guangzhou. We're one step closer to home and in a city that has safe food (we hope!)

M fell asleep in J's arms in the airport here and stayed asleep on her for two hours until we woke her up for a tour of the city. Bonding! Our quick trip on a couple of blocks revealed really fun looking shops and a 7/11. Now that's American! Still can't have a slushee...no ice allowed!

We rejoined other families in our same CCAI group that we toured in Beijing with. It was so wonderful to see them all again - and their little ones! We're blessed to be with such awesome Christian friends. We joined them tonight for pizza in the lobby - a taste of home!

Tomorrow M will have a required medical exam and we will fill out LOADS of paperwork yet again. Perhaps we will hit the pool in the afternoon!

One more thing: M shared with another child today! Progress!

Guess Who Just Went on the Potty?

OK, so we don't like that word, (it's just so Romper Room) but what else can you use? We just learned today (after unsuccessful attempts by her to use the toilet) that we were doing it wrong. Did you know that you can do it WRONG? Our sojourning Hunan family shared that their little boy was trained to stand ON the seat and squat down (as if using a squatty potty). R picked her up and stood her on the seat and she squatted. R then clicked (the cue used by Chinese nannies) and lo and behold she giggled and went. She looked so pleased that we had figured it out....Then she held up both arms and said "Ta Da!" :-)

Laugh out loud! So now the question becomes HOW do we transition that at home? We can just picture her at preschool standing on the seat and going! Still loling at that one! The boys will get a kick out of THIS post...

AND.....in case you didn't read between the lines...it was R who lifted her up to go and now has her in the tubby....that's a huge deal that she let him pick her up! Praise the Lord!

M.'s First Flight

Well, we've arrived safely in Guangzhou, China. This is our last stop on the adoption journey before the trip home. Here we will have doctor's appointments, visa applications, and "swearing in" at the US Consulate--AND lots and lots of shopping.

To get to Ghuangzhou we had to take a one hour plane ride, thus requiring us to break a primary parenting rule: Avoid plane flights with toddlers at all costs. Ah well. M. was great while she was eating (the first half hour) not so great the second, when she was tired of being belted in. She cried. And cried. And fussed. And cried.

Boy are we NOT looking forward to next Wed. We want to be HOME---but we don't want to GET there. yikes.

Our Two Fisted Eater

Bonding/Toddlerhood

While there are still a host of great moments the last couple of days have been kind of hard. It's hard to discern what reactions are "attachment/bonding" things and what things are simply being "two." Like usual, when parenting, even after "reading all the books" and talking to a host of people, in the end it's still hard to figure out what in the world to do sometimes. :-)

I (R) can only hold her to touch those lights in the play-room. I'll take it! :-) But I can still do a whole bunch with her---which is encouraging. She really does engage with me in a lot of other ways--I just can't comfort/hold her anymore. Curse that cup of noodles. (but, who knows--this could have happened anyway.)

M. fell asleep in her crib last night as usual. J. slipped quietly out of the room for a little "alone time." A few minutes later the door clicked shut and M.'s head shot up in the dark. She just stared toward the doorway. I froze. What's she going to do? She stayed like that for a couple of minutes. perfectly still. Staring. Then I heard it: "Mama?" Shoot. I'm doomed. Another minute or so of stillness. "Mama?" Then she started to cry. I got her up and tried to console her to no avail. She wanted nothing of it. She just stood staring down the hallway at the door and the light coming out of the bathroom. I could tell she wanted to see if Mom was in the bathroom. She just stood and cried and stared over my head and I'd gently stroke her back. Finally she inched toward the bathroom and looked inside. No mom. Slight increase in volume.
She backed against the wall and stared mournfully at the door.

I got my shoes and showed them to her. I got her little sandals and showed them to her. She stopped crying immediately and let me put them on. Then she held my hand as we walked slowly down the hall and then down to the lower levels to find mom. Mom got her back to the room and asleep in no-time. But poor mom didn't bet much of an excursion.

While that was pretty discouraging for me (not much help for a crying child) and for J. (when will she ever be alone again?!) there's also good news. She did let me put her shoes on and even hold my hand. She did stop crying then and there. She did find comfort in her mother.

Anyway. Despite the great pics and everything. This isn't easy. And probably won't be. (When is ANY parenting ever easy?!)

Good Dinner

We ate in one of the hotel restaurants tonight and it was really good! We had Jasmine Tea, Fried Dumplings (better than the steamed we had last night) a type of cornbread (in bamboo basket) and spicy shrimp with peppers. REALLY good. Not pictured are the noodles w/ bok choy.

Random M. Pics

Schedule

Not sure how much more we'll post for a while. Maybe some more this evening still. We're packing up for a move to our next city: Guangzhou. There we'll have a medical exam, get M.'s visa, swear the oath at the US consulate, tour, shop ETC. We'll stay at the White Swan in Guangzhou.

We've got an early start tomorrow--luggage in the hall at 8:00am. Off to the Airport at 9:30am. This will be M.'s first plane ride! It's only an hour in the air, so that's a good thing. (WHAT will we do NEXT week for the marathon ride home?!)

We're excited to move one step closer to home. We're also looking forward to reuniting with some friends from our group who've been in other provinces this week. Can't wait to meet their new children!

One Week!

Happy One Week Gotcha Anniversary M.! It's been amazing getting to know you.
God Bless you, little one.

-Mom and Dad!

How Much?

And how much do those works of embroidery sell for? We saw some of the larger double sided ones going for over 100,000 yuan. (around $15,000 US dollars) I saw mid-sized ones selling for 18,000 yuan. (under $3,000 US Dollar) You could get really small ones for around $100 US Dollars. Here are a couple more double sided ones I liked (R)

More Embroidery

The Banner across this room reads:
"Fashion a State Stitch Work in Full Passion to Honor the Country!

And so the women work by hand for hours and hours and hours. We just confirmed again with our guide--they work full days (8+hours) for a whole seven days a week. They make maybe 800-1000 yuan for the whole month. (that's around $120 US Dollars.)


Here are so close ups of the women at work.














Some work solo.













And then there are teams of women working on larger pieces. They always have a photo or a painting from which to work.

The Very Hungry M

In the light of the moon, a little toddler lay in her crib. The warm sun came up and pop! Out of her slumber hopped a tiny and very hungry lady! She started to look for some food.

On Monday she ate one bowl of egg fried rice, but she was still hungry.
On Tuesday she ate two pork dumplings, but she was still hungry.
On Wednesday she ate three slices of watermelon, but she was still hungry.
On Thursday she ate four hard boiled eggs, but she was still hungry.
On Friday she ate five slices of tofu, but she ws still hungry.
On Saturday she ate through one breakfast muffin, one banana, one yogurt, one bowl of honey nut cheerios, one glass of milk, one bowl of noodles, and one slice of cantalope! That night she had a tummy ache.
The next day was Sunday. She ate through one bowl of egg fried rice. After that, she felt much better. She laid down for a nap, covered in a blanket. When she woke up she wasn't hungry anymore. She wasn't little anymore. She was a big, strong toddler!

Miss M is such an eater! Already she has put on weight and the little distended tummy she had upon arrival looks so much better! Her legs are getting stronger each day - she doesn't fall nearly as much. Praise the Lord for watching over his little one....He's transforming her moment by moment into His image. What a privilege to watch it happen!

One Week

One week ago we were waking up to our first full day in Changsha.
One week ago we still hadn't seen that beautiful smile, or heard her infectious giggle.
One week ago seems hard to even imagine any more.

One week from now we'll be in our final descent into Hartford.
Will all of this seem a blur?

Kicked Out :-)

So after a very hot, busy, but fun morning at the park (and after our McDonald's lunch) M. went down for her nap--and so did mom. Dad was too awake and wanted to blog. Mom was bothered by the sound of the keys on the computer. Dad decided to read. There wasn't enough light in the room to read so he went into the bathroom to read his book. Dad got tired of his banishment to reading on the bathroom floor and decided to find somewhere else in the hotel. :-)

I went down to the Tea Lounge on the sixth floor. There was a low, long table by the windows with sofa seating. On the window sill was a nice little bowl with a goldfish. How fun. I pointed to an unknown pinyin word for a supposed type of tea and settled in to read some Tolstoy. (Kind of a bizarre little story which, so far, seems to be about a man going from libertine-ism to legalism)

I was brought a mug (tall glass, the kind in which you'd find a root beer float) of murky liquid with green vegetation floating on the very top, and lurking on the very bottom. It tasted like.....pond water.

Ah well. It was warm and I was in a groovy mood . I was also brought a little bowl of....little cookie like wafers--the first truly sweet baked thing I've had in Changsha. I sat there for a bout an hour sipping my pond water, eating the little wafers, reading my book and gazing out the window. It was fun!

Comments Back

FYI--in case you tried and were denied....you can try again now. Long story.

What IS It?

If you look over M.'s shoulder in the "ice cream" picture, you'll see the above. This is one of the daughters of our group-mates. They were so excited to see the ice cream stand. They picked out some nice frozen raspberry treats--or so they thought. What do YOU think it really is?


After a few moments the dad whispered to me--"we're wondering if it's bean based." I few moments later, he tried it and with a grimmace said, "definitely bean based."

yuck.

oh.
J just tells me she already told this story. huh. sorry. I'll post it anyway so you can really see the bean-cicle up close. :-)

And the First Wave and Use of English Goes To........

The MA Family via Skype!
wow.

We've been trying to get her to wave but with no success. At the very end of our Skype session J got M. to wave at the monitor and even say: "Bye! Bye!"

COOL!

That's the first official use of English.

We had a questionable use of "No" earlier this evening, but we're not sure. (we wouldn't be surprised if that was actually her first English--but we'll await further use for confirmation. For now--"bye bye" is it. (though it was clearly coached.)

We did have a clear comprehension of the word "garbage." She had a wrapper in her hand, and I took her by the hand to the garbage can, pointed and said "garbage" and threw the wrapper out with her. Much later on, I gave her a plastic bottle or something and said, "garbage. Please put that in the garbage." She took it, walked all the way across the room, around her mother and put it in the can! COOL!

We Found McDonald's!

Faux Cheeseburgers never tasted so good! M thinks it's great, but that Daddy's even better.
She decides to HAM IT UP for his camera! Have we said she'll fit right in in our family?! :-)

A Day At the Park

We spent the morning at Martyr's Park, a BEAUTIFUL place that we like to think of as "China's Central Park." :-) The park was filled with families and with people playing wind and reed instruments and doing tai chi. M was fascinated by the women doing tai chi....We think she would've stood and watched for hours! She got lots of practice walking and doing steps here, but then insisted on being carried. J's arms are getting tired!














M thinks ice cream is yummy now! We felt so badly for the other kids in our group...two of them were adopted several years ago....we thought they had selected a raspberry popsicle. Turns out they were frozen red beans on a stick! EEEWW!








We took a slow boat to...well, we're already in China. But we did take a short boat ride with all the kids around the lake.

Playing With Mom

Progress

Dad is slowly getting back to being a "holder" again. This morning in the playroom, M. was holding my hand climbing the ladder to go down the slide. She looked up at the light on the ceiling and gestured for me to lift her up. :-)

Why do kids love to touch the ceiling?

We Have a Toddler!

It's funny how you can suppress memories of certain phases of parenthood. It was less than three years ago that we last had a toddler. And we'd forgotten what it's like. We've spent so much time planning and preparing to adopt a little girl from a different culture that we completely forgot that she'd be a TODDLER.

What does this mean? EXHAUSTION! No sooner than she wants to be held, she wants to get down and explore the world. Go, go go!

We brought this hip-carrier thing to promote bonding and attachment. It's great--until she wants to get down and MOVE. Two families chasing newly adopted toddlers between the nicely framed works of art at the the embroidery factory/museum was a sight to behold. When one of those pieces hit the ground we all flinched. (It wasn't OUR toddler--at least that time.)

M. was said to be "shy." "Reticent." "Quiet." And she often is when she's meeting new people. But when she's in the room she wants to touch everything. (Loves this computer key-board for example.) J and I cracked up the other day when M. grabbed the phone and started pushing the buttons. We suddenly recalled being in hotel rooms with our other toddlers and saying--"Be careful or they'll call China!" Now she really could (though it would be less costly!)

We think all of these things are a good sign. In spite of her very different background (foreign culture, orphanage, health concerns, etc.) She's a pretty normal toddler.

The Pout

You can just see the beginning of "the pout" here. Little miss M. can put on quite the face when things don't go as she would want.

M.'s Cold

As we've heard, it's fairly common for the kids to develop (or already have) a cold when they are received from the orphanage. M. has had a runny nose all week. It sounds like it's settling into her chest. Please pray it does not develop into anything more severe. Thanks!

--R

CHICKEN!

We went to a new restaurant and we found chicken! A whole bird stewed. Not very Chinese-y. Tasted like the chicken you'd have with dumplings, carrots and celery (minus the dumplings, carrots and celery.) It was VERY good and really hit the spot. We also ate their very Chinese Cabbage (Bok Choy--though our guide had to think for a little to figure out what we were saying--she said it "Bai Chai"--something like that--and ours was just different enough that she couldn't place it.) The final dish was a favorite of......the still ubiquitous Chairman Mao. A dish of greenbeens and pork. The flavor was truly delicious--but it was a little hard to get down because the "pork" was mostly a lump of fat with an occasional ittle kernel of meat on the end. If they could have done the meat that way--Wow!

This restaurant was also the cleanest we've seen. We'll be back!

Room Service

The basic pattern has become: Breakfast (best meal of the day) in the hotel, lunch at local restaurant, and dinner in the room with left-overs, room service or take-out of some sort. I've ordered room service five or six times now. Each time I get the same woman on the phone. Each time we have a terribly difficult time communicating. All I have to do is read the letter and number of the item I want to order and then my room number. She never seems to get it and repeats them back to me over and over again.

Tonight I just lost it. Meaning, I hit one of those laughter-moments. You know the ones. It's a terribly inappropriate time to laugh and you just cannot stop no matter what you do. It's awful. We thought we'd get desert and coffee. I ordered C703 and two coffees. And she, in her sweet little voice repeated back to me C Sev-un Oh tree. Ok. C Sev-un Oh tree. Ok. and two balack coffees. ok. C Sev-un Oh tree. one moment please. Ok. C Sev-un Oh tree. and two. and two. and two balack coffees.

I know this is pointless. This is the classic "you had to be there" thing---I shouldn't even try to describe, but I just completely lost it and couldn't even say "Ok." So she had to keep repeating it over and over and over again....and I'd try to gasp "Ok" while trying not to just guffaw.

I felt/feel so bad.

The Princess and Her Royal Tea

M loves chrysanthemum tea! She holds her little cup like a pro and drinks cup after cup. Notice the little raised pinky...looks like she's ready for high society!

Look at the Duck!

J: Look at the Duck, M.! The man has a pet duck. How fun!
Kathy (our guide): No pet. Dinner.

More Embroidery

I thought of my mom and Grandmother the whole time we were in the embroidery factory/museum. I think you would have loved this. They specialized in "double-sided" embroidery. It was truly beautiful and amazing! (The tiger and panda are an example--two sides of the same piece!)

--R

Squatty Potties

So this is a typical women's bathroom here (not in our hotel, thankfully!). I stared at it for a long time before figuring out what to do! Luckily, this bathroom had tp, as many do not! However, you can't flush any paper down these toilets so you can imaging how fresh the bathroom smells. wow.

What I wonder (J) is how the older women use these! Their leg muscles must be amazing!

I prefer to wait until we arrive back at the hotel!

Ancient University

Today we visited Ancient University, famous throughout China. It is more than 1,000 years old and it is filled with beautiful courtyards. We walked on little stone pathways by bamboo and ponds filled with koi fish. We expected to see more of these types of places here in China, but either they're not in Changsha or they're just in America's "idea" of what China looks like.

We were a little unnerved to see lots of people in uniform. Apparently, all incoming students must take 7-10 days of military training. Hmmmm....Also, there are no scholarships in China and the university is very expensive. Usually only wealthy students can attend.



A HUGE statue of Mao greets you as you enter.

Day 10 and Counting_ Embroidery Factory

Today we visited the Hunan Embroidery Factory, famous throughout China for it its double-sided embroidery. Unbelievable. The pieces look like photographs! And on each side, the image is a mirror of the other. You see NO Knots.


All of the these pictures (the Mau Wall and Pres. Roosevelt) are done in THREAD.





Mia handles this tour like a typical toddler....she does not CARE about any of it! :-) She does like her gummies, though!

The workers work for 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Can you even IMAGINE? A banner in their factory work room encouraged them to work for the pride of their country! Wow.

Can't Rush This Girl

Two things M loves to do:

1) Eat.
2) Sleep.

You can't rush her doing either. She will not be pleased if you stop the eating. She is not too pleased when she's woken up.

From the Dad

...and it's not like she doesn't like me or anything. Like I've said, I get more than my fair share of kisses, smiles and giggles. We had a GREAT time at the pool together yesterday. She played with me almost exclusively and even took me on long walks all along the pool.

This is all perfectly normal according to every book or blog we've read. And it's not because J is a woman. You really just don't know. A woman in our extended group got sick and her husband is "the one," now. We'll just take it easy and keep loving her.

Why is Mom in Every Picture?

We've been asked why R is in so few pictures. Besides the fact that R LOVES to hold the camera at all times :-) , M has never let anyone hold her when we're out of the hotel room except for J. It's nice in so many ways...today a Chinese woman wanted to hold her (custom). J agreed and M allowed it for a second or two and then cried and held her arms out to J. This is great and shows that she is beginning to feel that J is safe and is supposed to be caring for her. But this is hard, too. R can't carry her anywhere (and this little peanut gets heavy!). Not in a taxi, not to the pool, not in a restaurant. He can't even sit by her! We noticed that after R's day of sickness, she went "backwards" a little and right now won't even let him hold her in the hotel for more than a second. :-( J is doing all the consoling, all the bathing, all the carrying, etc. R is "allowed" to play with her and make her laugh and to feed her. This girl won't turn down food from anybody! "Connecting" with one parent is really common...but hopefully it will balance back out again soon.

Great Moments

We each continue to get smiles and giggles.
We've each had M. lift up her arms to be held.
We've each received numerous kisses.

One of the best was saying goodnight in a family hug, kissing each other. She is soooo precious and we thank God for her. --Can't wait for that family hug to be complete with her three brothers!

Tomorrow we head to an embroidery factory. (Hunan is apparently known all over China for a certain kind of embroidery we'll see there. Then we'll go to an ancient university, Yuelu Academy, originally built in 976.

That's it for tonight.

Thanks again for your prayers and your love.
R and J

Fitful Sleep

M. is having her first (with us of course) bout of fitful sleep. She was writhing around and crying in her sleep. J. was able to console her and she's now breathing deeply against her chest. We're wondering if that pizza was such a great idea.

We hope it's just gas...and not the early moanings of Mt. Vesuvius. :-(

Moon Over Changsha

I wish I could do justice to the wide variety of lights as seen out of our hotel window. Flashing, blinking, moving, changing. It's almost like Broad Way all over the place. This must be some town for night-life.