They're Back! (So How's it Going?)

You guys.  Seriously?  It could not be going better.  This is Jessemyn sharing at Randall's request since he is in full jet lag mode.  Poor man is out of it.  It's like he cared for a 3 year old for two weeks in a foreign country and then flew across the world or something.  He's currently trying not to fall asleep while laying down with Levi.

The guys landed in Logan a little after 3 PM yesterday.  The Customs and Immigration things were routine and we were out of the airport without a glitch.  Accept that it was rush hour in Boston.  But let me back up.

It is the strangest feeling to go to an airport to meet your son.  Maybe it's like going to the hospital for a C-section???  It's scheduled like it's some normal thing and yet your entire life is about to change.  Unlike C-sections, meeting your son in an airport is awfully public.  Because having C-sections in public would be gross.  Duh.

So I'm all nervous.  It's not so easy to get ready to meet someone that you know most likely won't like you.  It's like knowing a person won't go to prom with you but asking them anyway.  I prepared for rejection.  He didn't want JOE for goodness' sake for days and everyone likes Joe.  So I did what every good mother does.  I came with bribes.  Since Baba bought him the precious Xiong Mao panda buddy, the little stuffed friend I had planned to bring was no longer a good option.  I went with Starburst and Golden Raisins, instead.  You know, because what's a little sugar among new friends?  I carried my little lion shaped gift bag in my hands, all shaking inside.

We get a text from Randall just as they are about to exit customs and the next thing we know, I can see my guys across the crowded meeting terminal.  I want to walk.  I want to run.  And I want to be sick and chicken out all at once.  Whose idea was this to do it this way?  Why didn't I just go to China with them and let Randall be The Rejected One?  You know, cuz I'm kind that way. 

But I have to do it.  Put one foot in front of the other.  Just walk, girl!  And just as I walk, I see Levi's face.  His big, chocolaty melt-my-heart eyes.  He looks at me and I know right away he recognizes me because he nose dives into Randall's neck.  Gulp.  Keep walking, Jessemyn.  We close the gap and I hug my tallest guy, and then Joseph, and finally say a soft and gentle Ni Hao to Levi.  No touching or smooching Mr. Adorable that I can remember.  I tried to play it cool.  He hides from me anyway.  We listen to Randall try to make coherent conversation about their flight, but all I can do is try not to stare at my new son too much and freak him out.  We take a careful, not too close picture and Randall's brother and his family share a gentle wave to the guys from a distance. 



We walk to the parking garage.  Levi is sneaking peeks at me around Randall's neck.  First, just his eyes show.  Then his whole little face.  I give him a little wink.  I smile like this is all a normal thing.  I'm still holding the lion gift bag.  We get into the elevator and when he makes eye contact, I summon the last of my courage and show him the bag.  I smile again.  I gently offer it.  He shocks me and nods a big, slow, deep Chinese nod YES.


(Note my dorky too huge smile)

I gleefully give my sugar.

And then the love began.  By the time we were to the car, I had already been given a slight smile and within a few minutes riding home, a full on grin.  We exchanged several good smiles for the next two and a half hours.  And he was PERFECT in the car.


Can you even?  After ALL he's been through?  You know, the whole "life as you know it has been ripped apart, you've been given to white strangers with big noses, put in a white van, shuttled in planes, trains, and automobiles, and flown across the world where everything looks different and smells different and you have no idea what's happening to you" thing....and he's SMILING?

Shut the front door.  I'm serious.

We pull into the driveway where my yahoos are trying to look normal and calm whilst swinging in their favorite tree.  Son, welcome to the family.  I go for broke and decide to try taking him out of the car seat.  And he lets me.  My stomach finally finds its footing and I know...we will all be fine.



We will be more than fine.  We will be OUR FAMILY and that's just about perfect to us. 

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

So this is Jessemyn actually writing.  poor Randall asked me to remove the girly script of my name that appears at the end of each post so that it makes sense to readers, but I had no idea how.  8)

I keep getting the most wonderful encouraging messages and texts from friends asking how I'm doing as the Mama being half a world away from my son.

Honestly,  I'm doing well (aside from the normal fried that comes with single parenting four kids!).  It is only due to the power of prayer because I should be a mess.  It was a very difficult decision to make not to go.  I've been recovering from a concussion for the past year.  It's been terribly slow going.  The month before school started, we learned that my daily headaches and memory challenges would be permanent.  I have been in neuro therapy for this year literally working to remap my thinking process.  I will still be able to love and care for our children, but it has meant making a lot of accommodations here at home.

One of those huge accommodations is that our kids who have been homeschooling went back to school last week.  And new schools at that!  So, we have a child starting new in middle school, high school, and college this week!  It also meant that the little girls are staying in school.  They had their hopes up to join us at home this fall with Levi so they are quite disappointed.

With all of the change, we knew they needed consistency here at home while Levi's adoption took place.  I was hoping someone from the family would stay here with them.  Then in early August, my heart started acting up a bit, going into some irregular rhythms.  My cardiologist asked me to wear a 30 day heart monitor.  We just couldn't see how we could explain that to Chinese officials.  8)   All signs seemed to be pointing to me staying home.

The thing is....I don't think I would change how all this came about if I could.  Does Levi need a mama?  Absolutely.  But we know that attachment and bonding isn't a fifteen day process that only happens in China.  It's a lifetime work that happens with every met need and patient loving over time.  It has been incredible to watch Levi begin to bond with his new dad.  Randall's never experienced that before as the girls attached to me first.  It's just been beautiful to see Levi's big eyes look up to him.  Love it!  And this has been such an important experience for Joseph.  It's our hope to take each of our kids overseas so they can see that not everyone lives like we do in the US!  And the opportunity he is having to serve is tremendous!

Do I ache to hold my son?  With every ounce of me, yes.  But I have faith that it will happen.  In the meantime, I'm refreshing my FB feed and blog site OFTEN waiting to catch the next glimpse of God bringing beauty from ashes.

Final Post?

I don't see how or when I will post again until we are home.  I can only imagine what the next 37 or so hours until we touch down in Boston will bring.  We'll spend approximately 15-16 hours of that time in the air.  That is a potentially daunting task, one that most (every?) adoptive parent looks ahead to with a bit of fear and trembling.  How will this little person do cooped up for so long?!  I share these apprehensions--especially as we have the unpleasant 9:30PM start to this journey home.  We land in Beijing tonight between Midnight and 12:30AM.  (around Noon for you on Wednesday, September 2nd) We'll find our hotel's shuttle and (hopefully) make our was successfully to the hotel, check in and catch some sleep before tomorrow.

In the morning, we'll get our last Chinese Hotel breakfast of the trip, pack (again) and take the shuttle over to check in for our last and long flight from Beijing to Boston.  We should arrive in Boston after 3PM on Thursday, September 3rd.

Please remember us in prayer during this journey.  Please pray for protection and rest.  Please pray for peace and patience for Levi, me and Joseph.  Please pray for our family at home, especially Jessemyn as she waits to meet Levi.  Please pray for their relationship that they would, indeed, attach strongly in the coming days, weeks and months.

I'll leave you with these.

Xiong-Mao and the Pink "Bag" still around even last night.

Levi holds my hand while I push the stroller

A Mystery Solved! (we think!)

We ate in a local restaurant for lunch today.  One of our last.  It was new to us.  It was an "all-in Chinese" place with (sadly) few pictures on the menu.  The waitress spoke a few basic food words in English. I keep forgetting the few I know in Chinese.  A great combination.  We struggled through our order and Levi was HUNGRY.

A young lady near by came over with part of her order and gave it to him.....similar custard/egg thing to what we saw the other night, but in a pastry--REALLY looked like a miniature quiche without anything tasty but the egg. He devoured it.   

 

Here it is. I did get a picture.

Meanwhile,  there proceeded to be a big mess and we had nothing with which to clean it.  It is a puzzlement to many why so many places simply do not have or offer napkins of any sort.  Seeing our predicament, an elderly couple next to us gave us a packet of napkins they brought with them, answering the constant question: "Why don't these places ever provide napkins?" From this experience I would deduce, that it is NOT because the Chinese people don't care about cleanliness; OR because they are inordinately neat when they eat, but, rather, that they travel with and supply their own. Who knew? It took me almost three complete trips to put this together!

This same couple helped us remember another practice I'd completely forgotten (and haven't even had to use this trip) until this meal.  When we sat down, we were served the usual pot of tea.  And a plastic bowl that we observed had the remnants of someone ELSE's tea in it.  The waitress gestured to the bowl and we were clearly supposed to pour the tea in to the bowl.  For what purpose we couldn't deduce and I couldn't for the life of me remember until I witnessed the couple do it themselves.

When they received their tea and plastic bowl, they poured the tea in and proceeded to rinse all their ceramic ware in the tea and even rinse their own hands in it.  Then they set it aside to order.  Oh. Yeah.  I've seen and even DONE that before....How do we completely forget so easily?

So.....We witnessed the generosity of three local people and also their attention to cleanliness. (I noted that the young lady at the end of her meal had also produced a napkin seemingly from no-where.)

Post I want to Remember to Do

I think a good post would be Joe and I reviewing the best and worst of our trip.  Like, lowest moment....best moment.....worst meal....best meal....etc....etc.  Maybe this weekend when we're home. :-)

More Levi

Fender Bender

So what happens during a fender bender in China?  With the huge volume of traffic and lots of aggressive driving--there's bound to be some kind of collision, right?  We've seen relatively little evidence of them.  But I witnessed one today when a the guy in the white corolla backed right into our stationary bus.  The drivers got out and haggled things out on the spot.  Both vehicles had minor damage. The drivers elected not to go through the lengthy process involving the police.  Instead, the guilty party simply paid our driver in cash the approximate cost of his insurance deductible and went on his way, (as our driver took a pic of his plate number.)

Wednesday

Tonight is our last "normal" night of sleep until we are home.  Tomorrow, we wake up and have our last breakfast at the Garden Hotel. In the morning, we may got to a market for some final shopping and a couple of provisions for the trip home.  After that, we'll start packing (hopefully while Levi naps!!!)  We'll pack up our last things and check out at 4PM.  Lord willing we'll get Levi's passport and visa packet at around 4:30.  The van takes us to the airport at 5PM for our 9:30 PM flight to Beijing.   Landing at around 12:30am, we take a shuttle to a hotel for some sleep.  Then, on Thursday, it's home via a 1:50PM Beijing to Boston flight.  I doubt we'll have much computer or blogging access or desire after we leave Guangzhou.  So let's see.....If all goes well, we should touch down in Boston in 53.5 hours. 

Shamian Island

I wonder what the Island was like in its hay-day? The US Consulate was once there, I believe, when US adoptions were at their peak.  The Consulate has long been gone, well before we first adopted.  But the White Swan, the memorable five-star hotel right on the Pearl River remains.  Thousands of adoptive families have likely stayed there.  It's Chinese Barbie-dolls and Red Couch photos famous for a certain "generation" of adoptive families.  Including us.  We stayed at the White Swan when we adopted Mia.  It was closed for massive renovations during out last trip. 

The streets of Shamian Island are idyllic, conjuring the feel of Savannah with the moss hung in the trees, the Western architecture, the heavy southern humidity.  There are several restaurants still in business--I think there used to be far more.  There are several "souvenir" type shops still  catering to adoptive families out of the many I remember seven years ago.  There is a Starbucks. :-)  The first one we saw in China on that initial trip. 

It lost some it's charm for me in a steady down-pour.  Especially at Lucy's.  It can be fun to sit outside in the park at Lucy's.  Not today.  And they sold us a kielbasa appetizer that they advertised and insisted to the bitter end was smoked duck.  I love kilbasea.  But not when I think I'm getting smoked duck. :-)  Good thing it was only 25 yuan.

Faux Duck

The "glory days" of Shamian Island are likely past, though the White Swan has been restored and is open once again.  A beautiful building with fantastic services.  Its indoor waterfall and koi pond are peaceful and pretty.  It was a great place for Levi to fall asleep in his stroller. :-)

Words Levi Knows....What We Understand

Here are English words or colloquialisms that Levi has used properly on his own:

• "Uh Oh!"
• Okay
• Eat
• Open
• ("Close"...may have been at a prompt)

Here are English words or colloquialisms we THINK that Levi understands but has not spoken:

• Shoe(s)
• garbage
• Stroller

Here are some words or concepts that Levi communicates verbally that we basically understand. (We think)

• I have to pee.
• I have to poop.
• I want to see it too.
• I want more of that.  (sounds like "Haya")
• That is enough (sounds like "Hala")
•  Water
• Juice
• Rice
• Panda
• When he says he's missing his nanny

US Consulate Appointment

For those of you who have done this before....things are a little different.  The US Consulate finally has it's own space (again)  Before our time it was on Shamian Island.  It's been in an office building for many years.  Sometime between 2012 and now, there is a brand new complex just for the US Consulate--and it's nice!  Had I known....I would have actually taken my camera for a couple pictures outside and left it with our guide as she offered.  But what was the point with the old location?

Levi and I got up uber early.  It was easy for him, because after a sweet bedtime, he never-the-less woke up (kind of) twice in the night crying for the Nanny.  This is new. He'd not done this in his sleep before.  He had put The Pink "Bag" carefully by his head before bed.  The Second time up, I needed to help him find it after he walked around looking.   I hadn't slept well at all.  I had that "I have to wake up for an important appointment" thing going on PLUS Levi's own restlessness. ugh.  So we were up at six--only a little before we needed to be. 

We left Joe sleeping, got some breakfast and met our guide, another family from our group and a few others agency adoptive families as well.  We traveled in a nice bus to the Visa/Medical building.  Here, our guide picked up our children's medical packets and walked us across the street to the new consulate building. (convenient.)

So when you (dear reader) either come back for your next adoption or your first (shameless hint....hint)  know that this part at least is nice and simple. :-) 

Our guide got us through the mass of Chinese natives waiting outside the consulate and hoping (as it would seem) to come to the US.  We went through security, to the second floor of the main building, got our number and waited.  I met families from Buffalo, NYC and Virgina waiting there as well.  We took the oath that all our info was true, handed in our Visa Packet, had our brief interview and were on our way in under two hours.  They feel confident we'll have our Visa packet before we need to leave tomorrow afternoon.

Joe

As you may have observed, Joe is awesome.  He has been a super huge help to me on this trip.  We've had so many laughs together and have created a host of memories to recall for years to come.  I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am to have his company, support and help all along the way.

Joe pays attention to the price of things.  It's funny.  He's always got his Itouch out ready to convert Yuan to USDollars and to tell me something is too expensive.  I think he's got a good frugal streak in him.  He's taken great pictures along the way (though his attention to that has drifted since we've gotten to Guangzhou.)  He almost always thinks more of his brother than of himself.....a shockingly amazing characteristic for anyone--let alone a 15year old. wow.  I'm seriously in awe. 

He has helped me with luggage and trips back to the room for things we left behind.  He's kept an eye on Levi when I was occupied with paper-work or purchases, or hotel check-ins etc. etc. etc.  He's been our pack-mule taking the day pack with us on excursions.  He's helped haul Levi up and down stairs in a stroller all over two cities in China (that are utterly inaccessible for anyone on wheels, btw...)  He gets the first course of food for his brother every single morning--usually before getting his own.  He plays with Levi.  He is affectionate with him.  He came and laid down with us while Levi fell asleep tonight when Levi asked him too.

While Levi still picks me to hold him and keep him safe, Levi says "Joe" with a fairly great frequency--far more than he ever says "baba."  When Joe is not with us, Levi will look up with that furrowed brow and simply say "Joe?"  When seeing him across the Chen Family courtyard, he called out "Joe! Joe! Joe!" 

Joe helps Levi feed the koi

Joe has been simply wonderful.

But Joe is bored. (See his post about today.  Ha!)  Things are slowing down and the trip home looms.  He's spending a bunch of time crafting musical pieces (which are quite good I must say) on his I-touch.  He's an introvert. I'm an extrovert.  I try to engage him in conversation these latter days, and he doesn't have a lot to say.  Tonight he said he's just about said it all. :-)  I get it.  We've had a great time together.  And for all the reasons and examples listed above, he's been irreplaceable.

But being with Joe also reminds me of what I'm missing the most:  My wife.  My life companion.  My best earthly friend.  I can't wait to see her in the flesh and not through a screen. 

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big appointment at the US Consulate, where we submit all the paperwork (including Levi's passport and my redone Vaccination Affidavit.)    You may recall the guide raised her eyes at the second letter "Z" in my writing of Zhu Wen Zhe on this notarized document.  I had written over the Z twice.  She had me redo the form.  (Along with two other parents.....one did the same with an "A" in the date.  The other had the two names of the child too close.  wow.  Apparently this is a big deal and fairly typical, because she had several pre-prepared sheets for us.) 

Levi and I will get up super early and leave Joe behind to meet our guide at 7:35am in the lobby.  One other family will go with us for the approximately 2 hour visit.  If all goes well, our guide will return late on Wednesday (RIGHT before we leave) with a US Visa in Zhu Wen Zhi's Chinese passport and we'll be on our way home.

After the rest of the families go to their slightly later appointment, we'll all take the bus over to Shamian Island for lunch and some souvenir shopping.  Levi will likely miss a formal nap.....but I bet he'll catch a few zzzz's on the bus either to or from the Island.   We'll probably go to a local restaurant with other families for dinner.

Today's boring day.

JMblog#3

~Woke up to levi crying

~Got the last 2 min of the Skype call to the family

~Went to have a BIG breakfast

~Was very bored watching "Jackie Chan adventures" in the hotel until around 10:30 when we went to
~find a Walmart-y store that was more like TraderJoe's in prices

~Went to a different cheap food area  and brought lunch to the hotel.

~Nap time for Levi and dad

~Then i walked to Star Bucks for some frappe' and a cookie for Levi that had too much messy chocolate for him, so I'm gonna have it.

~Walked in the garden

~Went to a noodle house for dinner

~Blog this

~Go to sleep.

                                                                                              Jmark

Today

We're wrapping up Monday in China.  With tonight, we have three nights and a long plane ride (=half a night in China) left.  Today was a good, if not dull, day.

Levi woke up and after seeing me, cried for his nanny for the first time in several days.  He also was slower to let me comfort him.   Still to be expected.  We had our normal AM routine including Levi's discovery of Chocolate Syrup on Waffles.  (Thanks, Joe!) ha!

Look, Baba!  I put on my own bib!

Not having anything planned for the day, we returned to our room.  We had hoped to go to a park, but it poured all morning.  To help us make it through the AM, we watched some Chinese children's TV.  One show featured this little goat creature (Google says it's called "The Pleasant Goat and the Big Big Wolf")  A wolf (Hui Tai Long) is goaded by his wife to try to capture the goat family, (for dinner) and apparently, in less interesting Wile E. Coyote fashion, is an abject failure in achieving his goals.

Three years ago, Violet came home with a stuffed version of this strange little goat.  (I found it odd that they sent it with her, because she really didn't seem to interested in it.)

After TV, we colored and goofed around for a bit before going out to find some in-expensive take-out from a local grocery store.  True to form,  Levi ate loads and loads of noodles and a little beef and rice.

Joe eats Squid on a stick

After lunch, to counter my bad parenting fails of yesterday, I did insist on a nap.  It took a bit, but he warmed up to it and I could tell he needed it.  To keep from blowing sleep tonight, though, I did wake him up after an hour or so.

Thankfully, it stopped raining so we could finally go wander around the hotel's beautiful garden and koi ponds.

A little later, I picked up the packet for Levi's visa appointment tomorrow.  We then had a group photo (of the 9 families here adopting through our agency.)  Several families then went on a river cruise.  Four of us stayed behind with our kids.  Interestingly, it was the three who traveled without a spouse and the once couple who also became first-time parents through this adoption. The boys and I went out for a simple dinner with the other two solo parents and their kids then returned to the room for bath and bed.