We’ve adopted three times. We also have three biological children. I’ve been called Mom for almost 20
years. Yet today when I dropped Levi off
at school, I lost it when he called my name.
For as long as I can remember, I have loved the idea of
adoption…and large families. My husband took longer to board the Crazy Love
Train, but once on, he was all in. After
enjoying three biological sons, we were ready to begin adopting and there was
no discussion.
It would be a girl.
Of course.
And she was everything I ever hoped for. Sweet.
Silly. Smart. Beautiful.
And life was full.
And felt complete.
And then we saw Violet.
Just a little picture with a tentative, shy smile. Her eyes held so many questions and seemed to
beg, “Will you come for me? Will you
love me?” And we were head over heels
again.
And she was everything we didn’t know we were
missing. Spunk. Courage.
Tenderness. All wrapped up in a
tiny little person.
And life was full.
And life felt complete.
And then God said, “If you will adopt, I will provide.” And He did.
And we thought,
“Of course it will be a girl. It will be Brady Bunch perfect. 3 boys. 3 girls.”
But it wasn’t a girl.
It was a boy. It was Levi.
China’s birth policies historically left hundreds of
thousands of girls without parents to care for them. Perfectly healthy girls living in
institutions all over China. Some cared
for. Some left to die. But times are slooooooooooowly changing in
China and more girls are kept by their birth parents than before. This is good.
But old stereotypes die hard. That’s why in China some other things haven’t
yet changed. There still is no valuable
place in society for people with special needs.
Considered unlucky, they are not given significant education or
meaningful employment. And loved? Very Unlikely.
But we have our own stereotypes here in America…like the
thought that girls are easier to raise. So it won’t surprise you when I say that the
overwhelming number of adopting parents want girls. Yet, roughly 75% of all children paper-ready
for adoption in China are boys. And the majority of kids waiting in the US are boys, too. And they
wait. And wait. And wait.
So many of these children will never have homes simply because they are
boys.
Levi could’ve been one of them. I was so bent on having another little girl
to dress up. To spend time with. To even out the testerone around here.
Thank GOD He got our attention and reminded us that
Adoption is not about US, the parents.
Adoption is about declaring that someone’s
life has value. It’s not about the
perfect Christmas card.
Today, as I dropped Levi off at preschool, he looked back
at my car and waved his little hand calling, “Bye, Mama!” He is learning that we go together. I am his.
And he is mine. We are
connected. This little boy, once alone
in the world, is now surrounded by family who love him fiercely.
Our eyes locked, souls connecting. Like a puzzle piece, he fits a hole in in my
heart I didn’t know I had. Dresses? We have plenty. Right now, his Superman cape is perfect for
us.
And life is full.
And life feels complete.
