Seriously?!

Yesterday M and I were sorting through a large rubbermaid we keep in her closet of hand me down clothes she'll grow into. Miss M has grown so much this year, there was nothing left! That's good news for our peanut who was so far behind those her age when she was adopted!

There was one lone outfit at the bottom of the bucket. One of those deals where I saved it for her, but by the time the right season came to wear the summer clothes it wasn't the right size.

But it had princesses on it.

As any mother of a girl knows, you can't let the item be seen if it doesn't fit. I snatched it and cleverly hid it in a bag. I left the pink shorts in the bin for a minute as I busied myself to hide the shirt.

She spied them. She looked at them.

"What this?"

And next she said...and I am not kidding you...

"Why this say Disney?"

She started dancing the happy dance of joy. "Disney! Disney! It say Disney! Where princesses go?" naturally assuming where there's a Disney label, there's a princess to be found.

There was NOTHING on that label except letters.

Crazy marketing people. Disney people are brilliant! If you see a little Asian beauty sporting her belly button in the backyard it's because I was found out!

Learning Curve

I'm a mom of boys. Three times over. There are just certain things I know. Like how important OxyClean detergent is. And standing over them as they brush their teeth. So that they do.

But there are other things a mom has to learn and today I was schooled.

Now, I'm not a complete idiot with regards to sports. I did play many of them and did alright at softball through high school. I watch the Yankees and I listen to Mike & Mike in the morning. Of my own free will. (And yes, my husband thinks that's really, really....well, you know.)

But still there are details that stay in the locker room. The men's locker room, that is.

Today I dutifully went to our local sports store to outfit our youngest for his first ever try at soccer. The boy is wicked fast and will someday win America the World Cup, but I digress.

As I'm searching through 2,000 different kinds of shin guards and socks, it suddenly occurred to me...do boys wear a cup in soccer?

And how do I find out?

I mean seriously, they KICK in that sport. That sounds painful. Right?

So, I look in vain for an employee. Of course, the ONLY employee available is male. I die a slow and very painful death. Why is it that the word "cup" now sounds private? personal?

Can't they just have a CHART????? They could call it "A Mother's Guide to Dressing a Son" or "Secrets on Scivies".

I decide I am now old enough to make an idiot of myself in public and do not need to care. I will never see him again, right? I swallow. I ask. And the man? He LAUGHS. I repeat, he LAUGHS.

Apparently, this is funny. I smile like I've told a great joke. But seriously, I ask, couldn't kids get HURT? I mean you miss the ball and Whamo! No more children in THEIR future. We're talking about my GRANDchildren here, sir.

He laughs again and says, "Yes. But in soccer, they need to run. Fast. You can't do that in a cup."

I now have mental images I neither need nor want as he begins to go through sport after sport telling me which sports need cups and which do not. I didn't hear a thing.

How do boys learn this stuff? Is there a rule book somewhere that explains why some sports and not others? Baseball is more physical than lacrosse? Not getting it. But then, maybe that's good.

This mother was ready to go home. And fast. As for outfitting a son, I wash my hands of it. I figure, I wash everything else in this home. R can have this one from now on.