Sisters

We Are HOME!

Thank you for your prayers for safe travel and happy reunions and first-meetings. After a LONG day+ of travel, Jessemyn, Violet and I are home safe and sound. The trip was indeed long, but Violet, especially, was FANTASTIC. She even slept a good 7 of the 13 hour flight. WOW! What a blessing.

The boys and their grandmother met us at the airport a little after 10PM last (Friday) night. We stayed up until at least twelve while everyone started to get acquainted. Violet was very smiley and is easy-going with the boys. She is clearly into having three "gu-gu s" (older brothers).

Mia had been put to bed at her regular time. When we put Violet to bed, Mia woke up. It was cute to see them just kind of look at each other in the glow of the night light. Violet pointed and said "Mia!" Mia was very sweet with her new sister. In fact---the two of them chatted and giggled for a good half hour (if not longer). Even with the language difference, they still communicated very well. Mia said her sister told her she took three plane rides. wow! It was a GREAT beginning to what we pray will be a solid friendship.

Violet woke up at about 4am. I'm thankful she slept THAT long. Things are energetic and joyful here, today. J says it's kind of like "Christmas morning." But in the midst of the fun, today we start the process of cleaning up and unpacking from the trip and taking care of the business of life. And today we begin the next journey of bonding all of us together in the Lord.

In the days ahead, we've got lots more pictures, stories and impressions to post from the trip through China. And we'll post pics of our new life together. So by all means--keep reading! We've got more to share. Thanks for joining us in this adventure!

The Most Important Post

As we pack our things tonight in preparation to begin our 27 hours of travel home tomorrow, it’s time to share what we believe to be our most important post.

We came to China because left here, Violet Xin Ni has no future.

As an orphan, she was literally given a name that labeled her a ward of the state, considered “unlucky” and in some places “contagious.” If associated with, she could bring bad luck on a business or a family.

As an orphan with special needs, she may have had the chance to go to grammar school but her chance at higher education would be extremely remote. If she was lucky, she might be able to work in a government factory. No matter how smart or capable she may be. And housing? She may be able to live in government housing with others society has deemed “unlovable” and “unlucky.” You’ve seen our pictures of housing here. Government housing is worse. Much worse.

And love? Not in her future. As one local man told us, “No one would EVER dare to marry her. They would say it is a pity to have such a pretty face, but be deformed.”

Our precious Violet, alone and unloved…in a Communist factory, home every night to cold and dirty housing. Barely enough money to live. Rejected. Forgotten. All because she was born without a foot.

Most of you following this blog already know these things, but here’s the fear that Randall and I share…

As the church, we can get numb.

When numbers like 147 million orphans are spoken

It’s easier to get overwhelmed than it is to act.

It’s easier to feel stymied than to do something.

Randall and I can’t adopt 147 million children (even though my brother would like to tease me about trying!), but we can help ONE.

Can you?

It is OBVIOUS to us that God is calling His people to work together to care for His precious children. In doing so, we not only give hope for the present and future to children in need, but we have an opportunity to share Jesus with so many people in the process! We’ve met people from all over the United States who are here for one primary reason…to glorify God by laying down their very lives…opening up their homes…living the Gospel in their living rooms as they tell the most forgotten that there is a heavenly Father who has not ONCE forsaken them.

In our church family, we have rejoiced to see more and more families choose to adopt. We hope and pray that even more will step out in faith and bring the lonely home. Or give sacrificially so that an able family can adopt. Or sacrificially serve a family that is adopting or fostering…bringing meals, babysitting, sending notes of encouragement, praying for them!

NOT because others are doing it.

NOT because you think you should.

NOT because you’ll feel badly if you don’t.

NOT because Chinese girls are so darn beautiful!

NOT because it makes for a fun blog.

But because deep down, we know that we were created for more…born for a purpose…to be loved by the Father and to share that love with others out of sheer joy and pleasure.

When we got off the plane in Beijing, our guide learned we would soon have five children.

“Why you want to have 5 children?!” she incredulously asked.

After questioning our own sanity, we laughed. We knew our answer.

Jesus loves the little children. And so then, do we.

Thanks for joining with us on our journey to bring Violet home. Please pray with us as we share Jesus with her. Pray that her heart would be opened to a love like she has never known. Pray for healing. Pray for real life in abundance. And pray about how God might be calling you to do more for the least of these. We’ll be praying, too!

See you on the other side!

Random Shots of Miss V

The Streets of Guangzhou

Herbal Medicines and Then Some

After the couple of streets of pets we came to a street or so with vender after vender selling dried items (animal and vegetable) for medicinal purposes. Dried mushrooms, saffron, snakes, sea-horses, eels, fish, LIVE scorpions (for soup of course) sea cucumbers, etc. etc. etc.

Gabe: This is For YOU!

So Monday (which feels like days and days ago) we went for a walk through Qing Ping Market just a few blocks from Shamian Island. There were two whole narrow streets FILLED to over-flowing with PETS and pet-food and pet-cages and pet-accessories.

There were turtles and more turtles and there were fish, fish, fish fish fish! There were mice and gerbals and even cats and dogs. There were sharks and lizards. It was amazing! And we totally thought of our son, Gabe, the pet-lover. He would have been in heaven. It's hard to capture it all, but here are some pictures.




Bags and Bags of Petfood.

Ice Cream!

In Case You Think This is a Fairy Tale

I have a cup of coffee in my hands and I need to write. Some people need to run to process their thoughts. Or sit and talk with friends. When days like today happen, I need to get to a keyboard and hammer out what's going on in my head. Helps me make sense of it all. And gain perspective. And learn something.

Today was hard.

There's no other way to say it.

It began early...5 AM...but well. Violet quietly called out to her Baba and asked to come in bed with us. She agreed to a few tentative snuggles, but that was it.

Meltdown #1 happened shortly after rising. Again, a fight over the clothes. Let me just say, I'm not pushing fashion here, friends. I'm insisting on clean undergarments and weather appropriate attire. That's it. But the very few outfits I brought are too much change for our little one to deal with yet.

After about AN HOUR, she finally agreed to get dressed.

The rest of the morning was uneventful and we were excited to meet up with the Pelley's to spend the afternoon. We haven't had a chance to spend more time than a meal together since Beijing and we were so excited to get to know Kai Kai.

We laid Miss V down for a quick nap which she needed, but had to wake her up to meet our friends. Plus, we didn't want to mess with her nice nightly sleeping routine. It did NOT go well.

She woke up and instantly wanted nothing to do with us. Wouldn't let us hold her. Love on her. Nothing. She wanted to fix her hair before leaving for the park and that's when it went from bad to UGLY.

She needed my help, but she was not happy with my efforts. I failed to exactly replicate the Chinese style her orphanage worker did for gotcha day. She tried to explain in Mandarin. I understood. Girls don't need words to communicate that hair isn't right.

She lost it. She cried.

And then...

She wailed...

And then she screamed and hit her body and kicked her legs

And moved as far away from us in the room as possible and faced.the.other.direction.

She was saying.

I am overwhelmed.

I do not understand what's going on here.

You took me from a place I understood. Even if it wasn't what was best for me, it was familiar. It was routine. I knew what to expect. Down to 20 minute intervals. And now, we live in a hotel where every day the schedule is different. And we have appointments in weird places. And we eat in different restaurants. And the food is rich when all I've had is rice. And this hotel has a crib for me and I've been sleeping in a bed and I"M NOT A BABY!

When will you people understand me? I keep speaking, but you keep looking at me with looks that say, "We wish we understood, but we don't know what you're saying."

You look different than me. You smell different than me.

I think I like you, but I'm afraid. And confused. And would someone please tell me that I'm going to be ok because I feel like I'm on another planet and I think I kinda maybe miss my old familiar wall.

And even if YOU know that my best friend is going to be adopted soon, I don't understand that. And I miss playing with her. You people think it's fun to ask me what everything is called. I KNOW what my nose is called. Why don't YOU? You're a grown up!

I can't handle one more thing!

And as she melted down, she took her new pink shoe with white polka dots that we KNOW she likes and tossed it aside...went back to her orphanage bag and pulled out the too big, hideously ugly boy shoe and put it on. Then sat down and wept.

It was the textbook example of older child adoption. And quite frankly, what scared me to death about this adoption in the first place.

Because even though you can cognitively understand what your child is going through and what they are emotionally feeling, you still RESPOND as a real person...You still feel broken. You still want to weep for her. You still think thoughts like

What have I gotten myself into?

Is this what our life is going to be like?

What if she never attaches to us?

What if this doesn't work?

And maybe, if I'm honest,

Is it too late to change our minds?

People say we must be brave. Or kindhearted. Or generous.

Nope. I share this post because we're just like everybody else. And I want to be transparent enough for everyone to know that following Jesus into the hard places is...well...

HARD.

But that doesn't mean it isn't good.

And yes, I had to repeat those exact words to myself in my head over and over during Violet's meltdowns.

Just because something is hard doesn't mean it isn't good.

Aren't the things we fight for, train for, strive for, cry out for the things we treasure the most?

Violet's meltdown took the afternoon to recover from and we didn't see our friends until dinner.

Was this day hard? Absolutely.

But what did we gain? One day where Violet saw that no matter how she behaved, no matter how she fell apart, no matter how she spurned our affection...we weren't going anywhere and neither was she. And that is a truth this precious child needs to hear day after day after day after day.

The wounded heart heals over time.

And tonight, on the way home from dinner? She curled up in the taxi, put her head on my lap, took my hand and smiled.

Will it be perfect tomorrow? Nope. But we're not in this for perfect days; we're in this for forever. We're motivated by knowing we're loved by Someone with never ending, never giving up, all consuming forever love. And we believe that Violet needs and deserves to know that same love.

Jesus, help us to love Ni Ni the way that You do. Help us to be Your hands and feet in her brokenness and pain. Give us wisdom and insight and compassion. Lessen our love of self and raise our love for her. Break into her world an heal her heart. Amen.

So Are You Sick of........

(R) So.....Are you sick of pictures of my meals yet? I could easily insert a joke here like: "Not half as sick as I am of eating them!" HA! And that would kind of sort of be true. But not totally. The adventure continues!

Here are a few pics of the dinner we ate with the Pelley's tonight.

Here's the "Marinated Meat Platter" Boiled eggs, Tofu (um...neither a marinated meat?!) Goose bones with skin, goose liver, and pork. (The pork and tofu were the worst parts.) The liver was pretty good!

Here it is: Barbequed PIGEON! This was recommended by our last guide and it was good. (Not a lot of meat though.
Yes. There were two pigeon heads. One for Ron. One for me. mmmmmm. Go Ron, Go!

Pekaris and Pelleys

We had dinner with the Pelley's tonight. FANTASTIC to be together again. Some pics of the day to follow.

Important Discussion

Lots of coloring going on here...learning what colors Violet likes...nearly every color...

EXCEPT dark blue, black, gray, and brown.

Then she proceeded to show me that most of my clothes on this trip are those colors.

Well, EXCUSE ME! I've BEEN to China before...this country is BEAUTIFUL, but how shall I say this delicately....it's not the cleanest place....dark colors are your friend...plus...if you're traveling half way around the world, dress for COMFORT!

We did make progress today...a new pair of shoes! pink, of course, with white polka dots. Matches the brown slipper so well. NOT!

The Sights

Here are some pictures of the sights from today. These are interesting, but they are far less important than our prayer request and our other posts about Violet--sooo please make sure you scroll down to see it all! :-)

Monument and Park for Sun Yat-sen

(Joseph--check out the Banyan Trees!!!)







We've had so many positive interactions with the Chinese people. Most who talk with us, tell us they are happy we are adopting. Some just come up and talk to our little one. This was a sweet moment.

Mandarin Oranges. Cool!

All these kids were wearing Angry Bird shirts and stomping on little bags on the ground. (?)



Yuexiu Park

Go, Violet Go!

(R) We wondered how Violet would be with her physical disabilities. We really didn't know how long she could walk, what she could accomplish etc. I know that I've tried to prepare myself to be ready for anything--including guarding against the tendency to want to do things for her (Ex, carry her) when she can do just fine for herself. (Ex, by walking!)

There are some times when we just need to carry her and we do. When we were in Weifang, we even shelled out $20 for a stroller. This was a good investment that we've used a great deal. There have been times when we've needed to hurry, or it's been wet (or kind of.......dirty) on the ground. Violet has a cloth slipper that she wears on her shorter leg. There are times that just shouldn't be on the ground. So we carry her or put her in the stroller. And she's fine with that. But we do try to let her walk as much as she wants.

It's hard for us. Walking does look awkward for her. It's clearly not good for her hips, back, leg etc. And we really don't know if it hurts her at all or if she does get to a point where she has any real discomfort. If she does hurt, does she even notice anymore or is that just so "normal" for her that she doesn't say anything? We don't know. Nor do we know how much is usually asked of her and how much she can really handle. So far--and especially after today--the answer seems to be: Quite a Lot!

Today we went to a monument, park and museum for the first "Provisional President" of China, Sun Yat-sen. He helped lead China out of imperialism (1911-1912) After this, we went to the large and beautiful, Yuexiu Park. It was here that we discovered and were awed by the strength and perseverance of Violet Xin Ni.

Our guide told us that we were going to climb over 600 steps to see the famous statue of the five goats. We planned to carry Violet, but she gestured that she wanted to WALK. And walk she did. She climbed all the way up AND all the way down. And kept on going! We went on a long walk through the park up a fairly steep walkway, Violet walking on her own all the way. And she kept going! We then went to a Museum--five stories high! She climbed up each flight of stairs and DOWN again. Then she walked to another area and climbed up on the stone walls and jumped down like the other kids. WOW! She was amazing.

By this point WE were a little tired.

I can't wait to climb Mt. Washington with this little spit-fire. :-)









o