Thank you Come Home, Mama

This week, Violet had a show at her school that Randall and I both wanted to attend.  We knew it would be too much for Levi to handle, yet...imagine loads of parents frantically taking pictures, squirming to see their child in a packed gym...plus the show was past his bedtime.  Not a  good combination.  So, we asked Joseph to babysit. 

Levi was so very, very sad to see us leave.  We knew Joe would do great and that Levi would learn that we return (as hard as it was to pull out of the driveway).  We received texted pictures of Levi being served ice cream.  He was read his favorite books.  He was given a bath and put in soft jammies.  He was taken care of well.

And yet when we returned, we were met at the door by a little boy who frantically begged to be picked up.  Once in my arms, he squeezed my neck tightly and kissed my cheek while saying,

Thank you come home, Mama.  Thank you come home.

I don't know about you, but I cannot recall a time when one of my biological children thanked me for returning.  Unless they were waiting to tattle on a sibling.

My bio kids don't thank me for coming home

Because they know I will.

But Levi...and Mia and Violet...and millions of other children have wounds so deep they wonder, "Am I enough for someone to come back for?  Am I worthy?  Valuable?  Special?"

In this crazy, mixed up, mad world hope is so important.  It's what kept Levi going until our return.  It's perhaps the most important thing we can give each other while we wait for the most important return of all...the return of Jesus....when He will make all things new.  Bind every wound.  Heal every heart.   Wrap us in His embrace and say,

You are more than enough for me to come back for.  Let's go home.

Who are you loving today?  How are you giving hope to those around you?

Shriner's Day

It's busy, busy around here lately...'tis the season for everyone, I think.

Today was Levi's first trip to Shriner's.  Violet was such a fantastic big sister.  It was AMAZING to reflect on just how far SHE has come.  She held his hand and took him in to "her" hospital, beaming all the way.  "He's just going to love the playroom, don't you think Mom?"

Shriner's is a totally different kind of experience than a regular hospital...and I don't just mean when the greeters meet you at the door in the infamous hats ;-).  You begin by checking in in the middle of a large room flooded with natural light.  The entire ceiling is made of skylights.  So awesome!  The room has traditional toys, coloring tables, video games and the coolest game machine built into the floor courtesy of Dunkin Donuts.  You play by literally moving your body all over the giant 12 x 12 foot magic carpet screen.  My favorite game is catsup vs. mustard and one person has to jump on all their condiment pictures as they appear and splat them before the other person can splat all of theirs'.  Too fun!

Today, we waited only a bit and then saw the Chief of Staff, Dr. Dvaric.  While we waited, the kids were given adorable plush buddies. 

All I said was, "Levi show me how much you like your new buddy" and I got this picture.  :-)

From there we were off to see our friend Brock who custom creates Violet's prosthetics.  He is just the best.  Love him.  He is fantastic with kids.  Violet's foot has changed in shape a bit and her prosthetic was no longer fitting correctly.  So, she's getting a whole new one!  It will have a different kind of mechanism.  She's excited to pick a new exterior pattern.  Imagine wearing the same pair of pants and shoe every day for two years...you would be excited to get a new thing to wear, too! 

Levi was curious, but did not want to get "casted" today.  The process literally starts like if you break your leg...they wrap the limb up, let it dry, then cut it off and use that as the template to create the prosthetic.  Levi was not really understanding that we wanted to make one for his hand.  He shook his head politely no.  The only way it was going to happen was if we held him down.  Brock thought it better to wait for a future visit to create his prosthetic when he had more acquired language...I agreed.  We don't want him to be traumatized by Shriner's visits.  We want him to love his prosthetic, after all.  But here's the weird thing...as soon as he saw that Violet got to have hers cut off by a MACHINE he was all over it. 

"Can Levi do, please?"  I'm serious.  And so he was casted.  And even though his arm was so straight and tiny that we could cut the cast off easily with scissors, he was "treated" to the big MACHINE where they cut the cast off.  He loved it (and told his older brothers with charades and a big grin later).

 Levi will initially be using a prosthetic that looks like a hook.  He isn't old enough to have the attention span to learn how to manipulate the more complicated prosthetic that looks more like a hand.  We hope he will be ready for that before kindergarten.  In the meantime, this should allow him to do some simple tasks, like holding paper (necessary for cutting) and swing ropes (necessary for Mom's sanity).

It takes us about half a day every time we head to Shriner's.  We'll return next week to do a fitting when the artificial limbs may or may not be done.  The downside of custom creations. ;-)

Did you know that Shriner's does all of this at no cost to patients who cannot afford to pay?  Prosthetics are pricey...like $10,000 and up so this is such a blessing!  They literally help people all over the world.  They travel and set up clinics, have hospitals across the globe, and fly people to the States all to help children.  So refreshing to see things working for the good these days, right?

Is everything about Shriner's perfect?  Nah.  Is anything?  But my goodness...look what they're attempting to do!  We are nothing but thankful!

Levi Update

Oh my goodness!  This little boy is learning so much so quickly!  We continue to be thrilled to have him in our family.  He is speaking over 100 words and understands many others.  This doesn’t mean that we always understand each other, though.  J  He loves to tell elaborate stories with comical mixes of English, Mandarin and charades.  We all melt when he wraps his little arms around us, gives a kiss and says, “I luba you.”  When we say, “I love you too, Levi” he responds, “Yeah!  Good job!”  Apparently, he’s getting lots of affirmation around here. ;-)

He can do so many things independently…like put on shoes and clothes.  I am always amazed at how well kids with limb differences compensate.  When he did the fire pole at the playground one handed we knew he is definitely Violet’s little brother. ;-)

He does the best with routine since that is all he has known.  Sadly, with a family this big and with ages this extended, our schedule changes a bit more often than we (or he) would like.  For example, last week the big boys had regular school schedule Monday and Tuesday and then no school on Wednesday followed by half days on Thursday and Friday.  He was so confused he cried.  Poor little man.  We use pictorial cues and clues when we can, plus the English and charades that work…but sometimes it just can’t be helped and he gets surprised by what has to happen.

He LOVES music.  He’s got quite the repertoire…from Say Geronimo to Give Me Oil in my Lamp.  He sings them all with gusto, all his Hebrew h’s thrown in, and a good healthy dose of Chinese opera, too.  His favorite song is 10,000 Reasons. The last time I took him to the grocery store he sang, “Bless the Lord oh my soul” quite confidently.down.every.aisle.

Speaking of the grocery store, I never noticed that the deli counter announces over the loudspeaker when every order is ready for pick up.  Levi did.  And every time the automated voice would say, “Ticket #whatever, your order is ready for pick up.  Thank you.”  Levi would politely answer, “You’re welcome.”  

This kid reminds us of Gabe in many ways.  He is quite the ham and can be very silly.  He also has a very tender heart.  If he misbehaves, it can sometimes take a few moments to explain what was incorrect…but once he realizes it, he is truly sorry and his little eyes can get all teary.  They fill to the very tip top and sometimes one lone tear slides down his cheek as he apologizes.  Of course, we are quick to love on him…there’s so much for him to learn that I’m sure it must feel quite overwhelming to him.

Speaking of learning, we are working on quick obedience.  Sometimes he is tempted to do what he wants first and then obey.  The tricky part with a language barrier is that for the first couple of months, the child doesn’t understand you (plus you’re concentrating on forming a relationship and connecting).  Now that we’re two months into having him home and we know he can understand enough to at least stop when we say certain words, we are concentrating on it.  

We have entered the hardest phase of adoption…we think.  Out of country travel and jet lag are hard.  The first two months are hard for so many reasons, too.  However, there are so many things to discover about each other that it’s very much an adventure.  The next 4-6ish months are where we begin to focus more on how we behave in a family, weeding out orphanage habits and instilling new, positive ones.  It is slow, tedious work at times.  So much like God working on our hearts!  The newly adopted child can be resistant to change just like we are with God.  Familiar is comfortable.  Safe.  This will also be the time we anticipate the other children in our home to be tempted to feel frustrated.  It’s funny the first time your little brother takes your bass to play it.  It’s not so funny the 50^th time it happens. So if you think of our family, pray for us.  Between this normal weeding and growing time, it will be the holidays.  You know what that means…crazy schedules and loads of sugar!  

 We have started the process for Levi to be evaluated by our town for services in their special ed preschool.  It’s a fantastic program that combines kids with special needs with peer mentors from the neighborhood.  If accepted, Levi will receive ot, pt, and speech therapy all in one place.  Those would be so helpful for him!  We’ll see what happens…

Someone's in Trouble...

I happened upon this tonight

with the cutest little stern voice saying,

"Xiang Mao, Time out."

(panda placed on stairs in dollhouse)

Panda replies in third person, as always,  "Xiang Mao, I'm a saw-we, Mama" to which Mama Levi replies, "I fee-gib you, Xiang Mao.  I love you."

(panda tenderly hugged)

Panda replies in third person, as always, "Xiang Mao say Yes, Mama.  No, Boo Mama."

Levi throws hands up in the air and cheers.  "Yeah!  All done time-out!"

Something's sticking, me thinks ;-)

*FYI, time-outs are a little different around here than they are on Supernanny.  Here, it's more like a "time-in."  With kids from hard places, often neglected and/or abused...the goal is not to give the child the opportunity to "check out" or to be alone.  To an adopted child this communicates that they are not wanted and that they can literally be sent away or emotionally abandoned.  Sometimes children from hard places will intentionally misbehave just to see if they will still be loved OR because they are so afraid to love and to be hurt again that they will do whatever they can to build walls...like misbehave and/or avoid the new parent.  Sending a child away gives the child a "reward" for bad behavior, the chance to avoid a relationship.  Instead, we give a "time-in" where the child has to sit for an age-appropriate length of time with the parent nearby (usually doing something that looks like lots more fun than the child is having sitting on their own) until they're ready for a "do-over" where the child must practice handling a situation the right way.  We have been known to make a child do the right behavior until they're laughing themselves silly.  :-) 

To Remember

I have to journal this so I can remember it always.  The other afternoon I happened upon a picture taken of Levi and I the night he came home from China.  It was within hours of us meeting each other.  How well I remember his fear, his reluctance, his sadness that night.  I didn't realize that Levi had come up alongside of me and he saw the picture.  He immediately gasped and grinned saying,

"Mama!  Levi come home!"  (pronounced, as always, like he speaks Hebrew.)

He became animated and began to use our ever-present mix of charades and English.

"Levi...air pu lane (pronounced, as always, with 3 syllables) Baba, Jo Jo.  Levi come hhhhhome!  Levi Hay Low, Mama!"

Me to Levi, "Yes!  That's when Mama met Levi and Levi met Mama!"  I hugged him.  "I was so happy to meet you!  You were not so happy."

"Levi sad" (pantomimes crying)

"Yes, you were sad.  Maybe scared, too."

Nods.  "Levi scared."  (pantomimes face of terror)

"Are you still sad and scared?"

"No Levi sad.  No Levi scared.  Levi hhhhhhhome (he smiles wide).  "Levi lub a you, Mama" (as he leans in for a long, tender hug).

He really is that precious and that happy to be home.  God is so, so good.

Happy Fall, Ya'll!

It's been a fun fall weekend here, despite Levi being sick. 

These adorable kids went trick or treating.  By the way, that was face Mia made when we asked her to look tough.  Let's hope there are no invading enemies here soon.  ;-)

Yes, that's the costume Gabe wore last year.  In my defense, he had a different costume planned, but at the last minute wore his favorite.  Mia's costume is a repurposed George Washington costume.  Man, that costume has been places!  Not pictured is Joe who was a pretty impressive Darth Vader.  :-)

I got out for breakfast with a close friend and got to see the farmhouse she and her husband are building....and I was truly just happy for her and not jealous!  I've been specifically praying that I would stop coveting and being discontent with living in a home that I can't change to fit my "style."  Victory for Jesus!

Homemade pizzas were made and much baking was done...pumpkin spice granola is now in the jar and there's a delicious loaf of healthy toasted coconut pumpkin bread on the counter.  I made it half with regular flour and half with spelt to lower the gluten content.  Here's the recipe if you're interested. :-)

Hope the end of October was sweet for all of you, too!

Levi is Sick

Levi is sick.  No symptoms other than a fever and lethargy so we have no idea what it is.

And that's precisely the problem.

One of the things you quickly realize when you adopt is that you have no idea about almost anything.  We have no idea how he handles fevers, if he has febrile seizures, if he tolerates ibuprofin or tylenol better and which one works for him, etc.  We have no idea what diseases he may have already had and which he hasn't.  Which reminds me of an appointment we had earlier this week for him with the ENT.

He wasn't sick, yet (and maybe it's where he got the germs?), but we had an appointment because he has enlarged tonsils and snores to high heaven.  No one is getting sleep around here, lemmetellyou.  Like at all new dr appointments, we were given the umpteen pages of history to fill out and which  point

I looked at the receptionist and said my answer to all questions is N/A.  Non-Applicable.

Was he full-term?  Don't know.
How much did he weigh at birth?  Don't know.
Ever had pneumonia?   Don't know.
Mother's side struggled with heart issues or blood pressure?  Don't know.
Father's side struggled with mental health?  Don't know.
History of asthma?  Don't know.
Had any childhood diseases?  Don't know.

And that, my friends, just rips my heart out.  For him.  I have an adult friend who was adopted at birth who tells me that filling out these medical forms is one of the very hard things about being adopted...you just don't know where and whom you came from.

What will I tell my son when he asks what the little marks are all over his chest and belly?  Are they from chicken pox or measles?  He tests positive for being immune to both, but we don't know which one they're from.

What will I tell him about the scar on his forehead?  It could be from falling out of his crib in an act of daring adventure.  Or it could be from a medical iv because it perfectly matches a scar Mia has on her forehead and that's a common practice in China.  We just don't know.

Today, he was as precious a boy as ever there was.  When the fever hit, he held his little arms up to his Baba saying, "I cold, Baba" followed by "Hug me, Baba, please."

If you aren't undone by a little boy desperate for the love of a daddy, I don't know what to say.  Randall swept him up, cuddled him close and that is how he stayed all day....except for when I took turns loving on him as the Mama...holding him like a baby and kissing his neck and whispering sweet assurances that we are here and that we will take care of him.

Any time we tried to put him down, he whimpered.  His little eyes would fill to the absolute brim with big, watery tears...so full of sadness.

All I could think of was whether or not he was held in China when he was sick.  Perhaps he was, but chances are there were too many children to hold for long.  Yet another question I don't know the answer to.

As I type this, little Levi is sleeping next to me in my bed...all hot and feverish and completely at the mercy of the big people in his life who have taken him half a world away from anything he has known.  How much courage that much take.  To even let yourself sleep.  I can't even.

People sometimes say that Randall and I are brave.  Every day, I look at my Chinese children and see courage personified.  To trust.  To love.  After losing everything?  They are overcomers.

Maybe that's what I'll write on the next physician's form...

History?  Overcomer.

Look Who's 4!

One very special young man just turned 4!  Being that he has never celebrated his birthday before (or had any idea how old he was or what a birthday is), we kept it very low key.  We baked a from scratch chocolate cake.  Cuz he knows the word chocolate.

Of course.

He watched us frost it and cover the top in rainbow sprinkles.  At one point during the cake preparation, he put together that something very special was happening

Just.for.him.

And he was speechless.  He began to tell each person that came into the house that a CAKE was going to be eaten.  I have never seen him get through a meal so quickly as he did dinner that night. 

When we lit the candles and sang, he was so filled with HAPPINESS, it was like his little chest was going to explode. 

He just BEAMED and sang right along with us.  When we all sang out his name, he stopped and looked at all of us, his little head turning all around as if to say,

"This is really all for me?  Are you serious?  I cannot believe it."

His eyes were all watery.  I so wish there was a way I could've captured the moment.  Except I wanted to be IN the moment and not behind a camera.

Remember we're going for low key?

So I'm channeling my inner Virgin Mary and pondering all these things in my heart.

When a present appeared, it was just...I hate the word precious...but that's what it was.  He was just so beyond touched.  He could've been forceful, pushy, demanding...I mean, think about it...life in an orphanage is survival of the fittest.  If you want something, you've got to make it happen.  He also could've frozen.  With little experience with having personal possessions, a present could've been overwhelming.

He looked at it from across the room.  He pointed at it and whispered to me to look at it.  As if I didn't know how it got there.  ;-) 

When he opened it, it was slowly and gently...and when he saw the picture of the box and realized what it was...there was sweetest, softest "Oh" sound followed by a gasp of joy.

There are times in your life when you know you did the right thing.  Randall and I are not perfect people.  Those who know us, know that.  The fact that we have six amazing kids is because God is good, not because we are.  When we were given the opportunity to adopt again, we could've said no.  We've known since we saw his face that Levi was special.  We've been thankful a thousand times already that we said yes.  But in that moment when we sang to him and he realized just how very loved he is?

there is NOTHING that compares to that.

Just nothing.

There are so many days when we go around as people doing trivial things that don't matter...shopping for this, going to that...and life has a way of becoming shallow if we don't fight against it.

Levi's birthday reminds all of us that life is about bigger things than getting by or amusing ourselves.

It's about loving your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind...And loving your neighbor as yourself.

There are literally millions of orphan "neighbors" waiting to be loved.

Support,  Encourage,  Foster, or Adopt.

Millions of Mias, and Violets, and Levis are waiting for someone to say You Matter.  You are Worth Celebrating.  The World is Better Because You are In It.  

This week Levi turned 4.  He spent his first 3 birthdays without a family.  Never again. 

 

Vermont

Oh, Vermont...how we love you in the Fall.  Your spectacular leaves in every shade, your birch tree trunks and delicious maples.  Your crisp, clean air.  I feel healthier just being with you.

And so I eat fudge.

One must always maintain balance in life.  Ahem.

We decided Levi was ready for a gentle excursion away from home so we headed for a day trip to the woods...just us, an uncle, and 88 acres all to ourselves to explore.


Vermont did not disappoint.  Look at the wildlife we found!  A bear baby and a moose!

Levi literally gasped when he saw the woods.  He did a slow, deep breath as if drinking in the scene, burst into a gigantic smile and took off on the trail with his sibs.  He stopped to show us the largest of sticks (which to a 4 year old boy is big stuff) and to tell everyone to be careful.  Mostly, he giggled with glee.

Per usual, Gabe and Joe were off doing their own Survivor Man things on the mountain.  We're up there enough that they know their way through the woods (and Joe now carries a map on his i device).  They check in with us just enough so I don't start to worry they've been eaten by marauding bears and take away all their privileges.  Like sharing my fudge.  It's a little agreement we have. 

Also per usual, no one wanted to leave and mom was left to be The Enforcer.  After all, she knows exactly what happens when little ones are not home before dinner and in time for baths and bed.  They will be their father's responsibility the next day.  Mama don't play.

So home again, home again, jiggity jig as my Grandma would always say...Sasparillas in hand and Sting on the playlist.

Oh!  One more thing we found in Vermont...that dad's in big trouble in just a few years.  Our little girls are growing up into gorgeous young women.  (Gulp.  Pass the Kleenex.)

A Sunbeam

Levi loooooves music.  So far, his favorite discovery in our home is an old CD player and an even older Sunday School CD.  He takes it all over the place, inside and out, as he sings along to Kumbaya, My Lord and Jesus, Loves the Little Children.  The Kumbaya selection causes me to shake my head and dream of losing the CD.  Only my love for my son has kept it from happening.  As for Jesus, Loves the Little Children, the girls want to know who the yellow people of the world are.  I shared the concept of the song but their reply was, "We are so not yellow.  We are lattes!"  I may have been to Starbucks too many times.

Levi has spent oodles of time examining the CD player to see how the sound comes out, watching the disc spin round and round, and turning the sound up and down.  It has inspired my favorite Levi moment of all when after bathtime, he gleefully danced around his room buck naked singing, "A Sunbeam, A Sunbeam...Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam."  I'm sure that moment gave Jesus a great chance to smile big!

He has decided his dad works with music and every time he talks about Randall going to church, he imitates our worship team, makes a pretend fist with his hand to be a microphone and sings, "Holy, Holy, Holy....we cry Holy is the Lamb."  When he wants to ask if his dad has gone to work, he literally says, "Baba go holy, holy, holy?"  To picture it correctly, you must assume a Hebrew accent and pronounce each H with a big throaty Hhhhhhhh sound.  Picture a Jewish grandmother singing it and you've got it.  Perhaps he'll star as Tevia in Fiddler on Broadway.  Stranger things have happened.

In the meantime, I will take videos and save them to share with his future wife.  ;-)

Language Update

Perhaps more than any question I get about life with Levi is about language.  People seem genuinely curious about that whole process.  When people ask about Levi's current language skills, they then often ask about how that compares to our experience with our girls.

So......Here is an update on Levi's current language situation followed by a quick comparison with the girls.

Words and Phrases that Levi says on his own at the appropriate times:

• "Come on!"  (the current favorite.  He knows exactly when to say it.  But he also just says it for fun.)
• "Come on, Man!"  (yes.  I heard this one too. Accurately applied, if not a tad disrespectfully/playfully to me.  Though, to be fair, he doesn't realize that saying "Come on, Man" in most cases to your father is disrespectful.  We'll get there. :-)
•   Nose
• Drink
• brush
•  come home
• later  (as in, "Come home laaaaaay-ter!"
• fish
• tweet-tweet
• night-night
• "all done!"
• apple
• up on top (His current favorite book: "Ten Apples Up On Top")
• Uh-Oh
• don't touch!  Look!
• Stop! Go!
• Hot!
• wash
• banana
• chicken
• teeth (but garbled.) 
• "weeeeeeee!"  (as in the gleeful sound of going on a slide)
• eat 
• airplane

Words we know he understands but does not say: 

• go outside
• church (more for the place that has the slide and swings; also where dad works/goes)
• please close the door
• eye
• ear
• hand
• put in the garbage
• stinky
• car, drive ride
• ..........The reality.....he understands quite a bit of the basics.  And it's hard to remember it all.  We are often half gesturing/half talking.  I believe he understand a whole lot more than this. 

Levi and the Girls with Language? 
Mia (just shy of three at adoption) wasn't vocal at all.  It was like starting with a baby in many ways--but a baby who could understand very quickly.  It seemed like a looooooong time before she SPOKE much English.  But it seemed she understood some English even before we left China.

Violet (about six at adoption) was committed to learning English.  Even in China, she wanted to know what we called things.  She gave up Mandarin  (sadly) almost immediately upon coming home.  She was quiet, but caught on fast.  Again, she understood more than she could (or would?) speak for a while.

Levi is VERY vocal and still speaks a great deal of Mandarin. (Especially when excited, angry, playful, at ease, etc. :-)) He's getting a lot of what we say.  We understand some of what he says.  We can communicate with words or dramatic gestures (and he LOVEs dramatic gestures!) about most basic things of life.

But...there is sooooooo much about which none of us can communicate adequately.  This can lead to frustration on both parts.  And an occasional temper tantrum (on both parts. :-))

It's a long process.  But he (and we!) are doing well I think.

The New Pink Bag

Because you never know when you'll need floss with you on a walk...

thank you Burstein Dental for a tears-free first visit!

Parenting a Newly Adopted Child

I have so much to say and share, so much to update all of you on...but time is definitely a precious commodity in the Pekari home and right now our children need most of it.  Thanks for being patient as we work through our first month home with Levi...

I'm sure it may not make sense unless you have lived in an adopting family, but when a new person is added in, things do not quickly fall into place.  The best way I can describe it is to liken it to having a newborn.  The entire family's world is turned upside down and only God knows exactly how it will look when He is done with the transition.  There are already so many wonderful signs that God is working all things out for good!

Levi is wonderful.  Levi is a treasure.  Levi is a gift.  But Levi is  not a happy, healthy almost four year old boy.  Levi is a precious child who, in many ways, is very much like a baby...Here is the best way I can give you a picture to explain it...before this month, Levi had never felt WIND.  Last week, as we sat in our yard playing at the water table, a breeze blew up.  Levi froze.  His adorable eyebrows furrowed in the way we've learned means, "I'm trying to figure this out and I'm not sure about it."  The breeze blew a little stronger and his hand went out, pointing frantically at the leaves on the tree as Mandarin questions flew out of his mouth.  It was painstakingly obvious that he had no idea what was happening and was unnerved by the sensation.

When was the last time you met a four year old who hadn't felt a gentle breeze?

It is like this about so many things...water from a faucet, a toilet that flushes, clean clothes every day.  Simply by virtue of living in a home with a family, he must constantly experience and learn new things....even when we are staying home and keeping things low key.  And it is exhausting for him.  That's why we are "cocooning" as much as possible, staying at home almost all of the time, while he gets used to the sensations around him and begins to learn he is safe.

Rest assured this is all very normal when adopting internationally and we were anticipating exactly this.  We are not at all surprised.  However, it's still exhausting.  Remember the newborn analogy?  It still holds true.  Having a newborn baby is incredible, such a gift!  But we all know how tired new moms are!  :-)

Is Levi worth it?  ABSOLUTELY!

It is a very unique thing to parent a child who is "so big" and yet "so very young" at the same time.  It means we must assume that everything he experiences is a first.  Even if he has experienced it before coming home, he experienced it without CONTEXT.  For example, he may have seen toys, but most likely there were not enough, the rules were survival of the fittest, or they may have been kept put away simply because there were not enough.  That is not how it works in a loving family.  There are toys and they are to be shared and sometimes there are too many choices!  Another example, is physical touch.  Was he hugged or held?  If so, how and by whom?  Does he fear touch?  Food is another common area where there are differences...Was there enough food?  Were there ever choices?  Did he ever learn what it feels like to have enough and stop eating on his own?  What were the rules around food?  Did he eat at a table?  Does he use a spoon or chopsticks?  What about sensations like
feeling running water, running in grass, walking barefoot outside, touching a stuffed animal?

As you can see, the examples go on and on...so while we have a son who is almost 4, he is more like a 2.5 year old developmentally because he has simply had so many missed experiences already.  Again, we anticipated this.

But HE didn't because he had no idea what was going to happen to him and even if he did, he wouldn't know what it meant because he was too little.  It is completely overwhelming to be brought to an entirely new country with new people and new experiences.  And while we like to think that he likes us, he has to be EXHAUSTED from constantly trying to decode what people are saying, figure out what people are doing, and wondering what on earth will happen next.  He has had a few meltdowns this past week...deservedly so.  Each time has been over something either we or he didn't understand.  How wonderful it will be when we share a common language!

He has been an absolutely trooper.  He is a beautifully curious little boy with a smile that melts us all.  He excitedly anticipates when his siblings will be home from school and gasps in delight when they appear.  (It will take a looooong time until he trusts that when people leave, they return).  He tries new foods and gives sweet hugs and a few select kisses to mom.  Baba is still THE MAN in Levi's eyes.  He still panics when Baba is gone too long and he can only sleep at night if Baba puts him to bed.  Without him, he is still terrified.  I was in this position with Mia for YEARS so I remember how tiring it can be to be the parent who is always needed.  Randall is handling it so well.  I've seen him get teary when Levi lifts his little arms to him in desperation after Randall has been away at work...neither of us feel worthy of the affection Levi is already showing us...knowing his story, we would understand if he would NEVER trust anyone again....and while right now Levi clings to Randall more out of desperation than love, we are thankful he clings to us at all...in time, love will come, we pray.

So that's the skinny for now.  Please keep praying for all of us.  Pray that God would strengthen Randall and I to meet the needs of six very different kids.  Pray that Randall would be able to meet the needs of our church at the same time.  Pray that Levi would know, truly know, just how loved he is.

Thank you!

Levi's First Week Home

Levi is doing so very well.  His first week was spent getting used to our home and family.  He is quickly learning that there are many people here who love him, but he most prefers Mama and Baba. He has already learned all of our names and many English phrases like

"Uh-oh"
"Be careful" and
"All done"

It is quite amusing to hear a deep little voice come out of such a pipsqueak of a guy.  He chatters all the time in Mandarin and I think he actually thinks we understand him. 

He's trying new foods, but we're keeping lots of the same on hand that he ate in China while he transitions...golden raisins, boiled eggs, rice, rice, and more rice.

He loves music and likes to dance along.  The ABC song must be listened to every morning exactly .5 seconds after waking.  He also plays our piano frequently, changing the piano score on the ledge with each new "song" he plays.  It's too cute.

He likes to drive Xiang Mao in his jeep.  He was slow and steady and all was well...

until he decided that he should drive in the ROAD since Baba did.  Good thing we always have someone on "Levi Patrol."  :-)

 He is a fascinating mix of serious and silly.  He has great comedic timing and the best faces ever.

He has already learned that a wooden spoon means there is deliciousness to be had.  As I baked an apple pie today, I had to replace the wooden spoon multiple times as it disappeared nearly every time I turned around.  :-)

Can you even HANDLE that dimple?

 

Playing with water continues to be his favorite thing EVER.  We have stopped the cannonballs in the bathtub (ahem) but he loves to slip and slide back and forth on his tummy or back still.  When given a little toy man and dragon to bathe with, he began an elaborate conversation in Mandarin between the two...in which they apparently disagreed and began kung fu fighting.  :-)

He thinks popsicles are delicious. 

Unless they are LIME

Sharing popsicles with a toy man is the best fun of all!

Toys and popsicles are all well and good....but nothing beats a brother or sister.

We are loving getting to know this precious child that God has given us to love and care for.  What a gift he is!

The Trip Home

Coming Home: The trip that every adoptive parent begins to long for (but simultaneously fear) a day or so into Guangzhou. (if not sooner. :-))

If you will recall, our home-ward trip was changed because of the Chinese Government/Military celebrations of the 70th anniversary of the victory in WWII. (Some have found this puzzling, not thinking of China as playing a role, but they were occupied and oppressed by the Japanese during that time period and were quite involved.)   But I digress.....

We got the Visa packet at about 4:30PM last Wednesday, Guangzhou time.  This packet, we would hand, un-opened, to the US Immigration Agents in the Boston Airport.

We then rode through rush-hour traffic to the Guangzhou airport to check in for you 9:25PM flight to Beijing.  I was a little apprehensive about the time spent in the airport with Levi past his bed-time, but all went smoothly.  After getting through security, we had a dinner of noodles and dumplings.  At the gate, we pulled out the playdough to help pass some time.

But we still had an hour to kill.  So.....Levi and I took a long walk.  And found:

Lychee Fruit!  Twigs and all.  This was PERFECT.  It takes a little while to peel off the tough, kiwi-like skin, eat the fruit and spit out the pit.  These, you may recall, were some of the things that came in The Pink Bag.  They were a hit, the time went swiftly til boarding.

On the plane, Levi went two-for-two sleeping from take-off to touchdown.  What would this mean for the BIG flight the next day?

We got into Beijing around 12:30AM.  (With Levi sound asleep Joe and I got to watch Avengers: Age of Ultron the whole flight! :-))  Now we had to find our shuttle to our hotel.  This took us about an hour.  Their shuttle didn't come to our terminal.  When we finally figured this out, we had a bit of trouble finding our way to the right terminal.  This search involved a wrong turn and long walk outside the airport to a dark spot in the road with all our bags on a cart.  Feeling a little "sketched out" we went back the way we came and got better directions.  We got checked in and were all asleep a little after 2:30AM.  This was not exactly a great way to start our home-ward trip.

We slept until about 8:30am, when I woke the boys up to get some breakfast.  We'd have loved to have slept much longer.  Fed and packed again, we were off by shuttle back to the airport.

It was a great joy to walk out of the hotel and see clear blue skies for the first time in 13 days.

We took the shuttle to terminal three, unloaded all our stuff, loaded it all onto a cart, and made our way to the third floor for checkin only to discover......we were at the wrong terminal. ugh.  This was the first of several hang-ups and annoyances along the way to boarding our flight.  We picked the checkin line whose conveyor belt broke, causing us to stand in one place for half an hour.  Then, gabe's gift got flagged (a small souvenir sword) in the checked luggage and I had to climb behind the desk, open the suit-case and identify the offending object.  Then I almost left my phone (gasp) at the counter.  Then we waited in line for immigration, forgetting to fill out the little immigration card.  Then we forget to fill out one per person.  Then we had to unpack my entire back-pack to get to my camera (which no-one cared about in the previous four flights.)  Then we forgot to dump Levi's water. and so on.....oy. vey. . Not awful. But definitely not smooth.  Thankfully, we had a cushion of time.  At the gate, we ate the last of the lychee fruit and drank the last of our water since, oddly, you couldn't bring water on the plane--even after security. Finally, we boarded a standing room only bus and waited....and waited....and waited....and sweat and sweat and sweat until it was packed enough to drive down the tarmac to our awaiting plane. Odd to board in the middle of the tarmac.

Somewhere along the way, I hear the words that strike terror into the hearts of any parent trapped by circumstances and kept far from any bathroom: "Niao-Niao."  (announcing to me that he has to "pee-pee")  You are Kidding, right?  I look down at the earnest face.  I hear again: "Niao-Niao" spoken with greater urgency.  I try to communicate the hopelessness of our situation.  I look frantically to see if there's some miracle toilet in the corner of our bus (though how we'd get to it through the wall of sardine-like people, I have no clue.)  Nothing. "NIAO-NIAO" he says with great urgency and a little anger.  Again, I try to communicate that he'll have to wait.  And wait he did.  As we unloaded.  As we handed off the stroller. As we waited to climb the stairs and make the long walk to our seats, as I dumped my laptop bag (with all our important papers, passports, etc.) and backpack with Joe and hustled back to the rear airplane lavatory.....Only to find it locked. (Of COURSE it is.)  Thankfully, I flag down a flight attendant who checks to see if it's occupied (it's not) then unlocks the door and lets us in.

It's been a long time since I've had to share an airport lavatory with a little person.  Do you know how impossibly SMALL they are?!  Mild travel disaster averted, we got settled in our seats and took off, where-upon Levi......fell asleep.  YES!

After about 2 1/2 to 3 hours, it was time for ME to Niao-niao.  I went back and got in line.  Finally, I'm next.  But I look up and see Joseph frantically signalling to me that LEVI has to niao-niao.  (of course he does.)  But there is simply no way I can forfeit my place in line and take care of that.  Really.  I've been waiting a while. I really can't.  I signal Joseph to take him to the green-lighted lavatory in the front of our section.  By the time I make it back....I find Levi still in his seat and....wet.  (and isn't it great that airport seats are cloth fabric that absorb liquid?!)  Only ten hours to go and his seat is wet and I'm already into the first of three back-up outfits I have along.  I had him sit on the airplane blanket still in plastic.

[Edit:  to be clear...Joe was not at fault in the above incident.  By the time Joe went into action.....the line at the previously unoccupied lavatory was three deep. Just. like. that.]

Thankfully the rest of the trip was uneventful.  Levi was fantastic.  He played with play-dough for quite a while.  Then spent even more time playing with all the papers and cards and vomit bag in his seat-back compartment.  He stayed up waaaaaaay too late but just couldn't sleep until the last four hours of the flight.

You can't really ask for more than sleeping half the flight.  (And I didn't even slip him the benadryl!) ;-)

Landing in Boston, Levi was a US Citizen.  We waded through the lines of Immigration, waited for his papers to be processed in a "holding room" with 30 or so other immigrants, got our luggage, went through customs, changed into clean clothes and...finally!  Saw family.

Yes, Deb, that is definitely relief on my face.  (Thanks again for driving and for this picture!)  My brother and his family also came to welcome us back to the US of A.  What a blessing!