Ni Hao

Today we ran some errands, hardly blog-worthy news. But like all parents of multiple children know, someone always has to use the bathroom in a store that doesn't have one. So off we trekked to the nearest alternative which turned out to be a Chinese restaurant.

As soon as we entered, a young man came up to seat us and I politely explained our reason for coming. He didn't mind. You see, he was thrilled to meet Miss M.

"You Chinese!"

She looked at him as if to say, "Why are you so excited?"

He immediately began talking FAST to her in Mandarin and she. had. no. idea. what. he. was. talking. about.

"You no speak Chinese?!"

I shook my head and was overcome with the most intense feeling of sadness. Obviously, I KNOW she doesn't speak Mandarin. She wasn't speaking any at her adoption at nearly age 3. But seeing her with this Chinese man without the language that ties them together was another reminder of all that she has lost. Her first home, her second home, any relationships she may have had, her language, the smell of her air, the taste of her food, everything.

He asked Miss M her name and she gave him her English name and he quickly asked for her REAL name, her Chinese name.

Miss M told him, but I have to wonder how confusing this all must be. Thankfully, I call her by both names, but still...

As we left the restaurant she was clearly thinking more about it as she said, "I know why he think I Chinese. It my eyes. They look like almonds."

"Maybe, I answered. You do have beautiful eyes."

And a beautiful heart, I think. To even TRY to love after all she has been through is so courageous.

Miss M's life is a bit like a puzzle. There's a picture of her that has been cut into a thousand pieces, some of which were blown away by the wind of her adoption. The parts of her past that shape who she is are missing, so many unknowns and so many things gone. Our prayer is that Jesus will fill the empty places with such light and beauty that her pain is overcome by joy. And we pray that when she looks in the mirror, she sees those almond eyes and knows just how very deeply she is loved by the One who knows her story from its beginning and who promises a perfect ending for eternity.