The cutest little boy you ever did see
1.17.2013
1.14.2013
She's Moving
My sister is moving and with it I'm battling my will. Aren't I always? Sigh. Every time I think I've surrendered my heart to God's plans, I slowly, quietly rebuild my vision for what I think my future should hold.
I LOVE my sister. No exaggeration. And I've been able to live near her for exactly two years. As in two out of her nearly twenty years we've been in the same state. She graduated this fall and moved north, landing a great job in a prestigious spa near us. Glory be! She was actually here. in. our. house! Waiting for her apartment to open. Lease signed. Deal made.
And then everything changed. We share a lot of things, she and I. Sadly, one of them is our vascular condition. Chest pain, anyone? We break a lot of stereotypes, she and I. She moved here struggling, hoping that her health would improve once seeing new doctors. But before that could even really begin, she got worse. Quickly. The pain that's been riddling her legs is now writhing in her arms. She can't sleep. She works with her hands. She's supposed to take a massage license exam next week. You can't exactly give a massage or facial if your hands are burning with pain or numb. She made the only choice she could. She quit her job. She needs to concentrate on getting well. 24.7. She's moving back to Florida where she can stay with my parents, go on a very restrictive diet, see specialists....and basically find health again. I wish she could do it here. But recovering in a house filled with children isn't exactly restful. Especially when you currently share a room with Davy Crockett.
I've been so happy living here in New England with the most amazing church family on the planet. Still, I harbored hidden dreams of my sibs moving nearby, visiting each other, doing life together. It looked like it was coming together....Randall and I have started talking about the farmhouse again, Annah moved north, Caleb lives in nearby Granby....could it be happening? I got excited. Giddy even. I think I squealed. And I don't squeal.
And now that the picture is fading? I'm struggling to let go. Struggling to be content. The weather here has been like Seattle and it matches the gray mood of my heart.
But I'm learning something. When I'm quiet, the Word is whispering in me, His voice reminding me that joy is not found in circumstance, but in believing. Believing that the One who knows how to give good gifts delights to give them, that contentment with godliness is great gain, and that beauty is often found in the unexpected.
I don't know what day Annah is leaving, and I know that I already miss her. But I know something even more...God is faithful and God is good and His plan is always greater than I can ask or imagine. And so I wait and look and continue to pray that HIS will is done and that I am faithful to follow.
I LOVE my sister. No exaggeration. And I've been able to live near her for exactly two years. As in two out of her nearly twenty years we've been in the same state. She graduated this fall and moved north, landing a great job in a prestigious spa near us. Glory be! She was actually here. in. our. house! Waiting for her apartment to open. Lease signed. Deal made.
And then everything changed. We share a lot of things, she and I. Sadly, one of them is our vascular condition. Chest pain, anyone? We break a lot of stereotypes, she and I. She moved here struggling, hoping that her health would improve once seeing new doctors. But before that could even really begin, she got worse. Quickly. The pain that's been riddling her legs is now writhing in her arms. She can't sleep. She works with her hands. She's supposed to take a massage license exam next week. You can't exactly give a massage or facial if your hands are burning with pain or numb. She made the only choice she could. She quit her job. She needs to concentrate on getting well. 24.7. She's moving back to Florida where she can stay with my parents, go on a very restrictive diet, see specialists....and basically find health again. I wish she could do it here. But recovering in a house filled with children isn't exactly restful. Especially when you currently share a room with Davy Crockett.
I've been so happy living here in New England with the most amazing church family on the planet. Still, I harbored hidden dreams of my sibs moving nearby, visiting each other, doing life together. It looked like it was coming together....Randall and I have started talking about the farmhouse again, Annah moved north, Caleb lives in nearby Granby....could it be happening? I got excited. Giddy even. I think I squealed. And I don't squeal.
And now that the picture is fading? I'm struggling to let go. Struggling to be content. The weather here has been like Seattle and it matches the gray mood of my heart.
But I'm learning something. When I'm quiet, the Word is whispering in me, His voice reminding me that joy is not found in circumstance, but in believing. Believing that the One who knows how to give good gifts delights to give them, that contentment with godliness is great gain, and that beauty is often found in the unexpected.
I don't know what day Annah is leaving, and I know that I already miss her. But I know something even more...God is faithful and God is good and His plan is always greater than I can ask or imagine. And so I wait and look and continue to pray that HIS will is done and that I am faithful to follow.
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